Schtoop the presses, good morning mr, mrs. America and all the ships at sea. Sandra Bullock is divorced,Lady(?) GaGa earns 62M and Obama still smiles. United States Supreme Court
Nominee, Ms. Kagen, undergoes screw tinee, by the Alta Cockers on Capital Hill..
I guess the venum prone Hillsters are licking their chops, unless someone else is licking them,
to try and persuade their co-dependents to not confirm Ms. Kagen. After all who would want
a brilliant and vibrant legal mind to sit on the highest court in the land. I am quite sure she could keep
everybody up to actually listen to whatz goin on in da court.
If America were smart, they would hire James Cameron and his blue army, to seek out and find
ben laiden. One Masud could master the plan, in about 30seconds and that piece of scum would be
history.
I've been watching the tumbling tumbleweeds and am hankering to get back to places that have tall
buildings and low esteem. In the immortal words of Sally Fields, "they like me, they really like me"
Belated Mazeltov to Steve Cooley, the District Attorney of Los Angeles County, for his bid to becoming
the Attorney General of California. I recieved an invitation to attend his election night's victory, but couldf
not attend.
I would also like to acknowledge a certain lady, who's beauty, wit, elegance, charm and grace, has made
me a much happier man. Step aside Dorothy, Kansas has someone else, who can set my heart afire.
My name is still Marshall Bitkower and Overland Park is now the Crown Jewell of the American Dream.
PS Sir George has been crowned Mr. Mensch of this century.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
DR. 90210 AND DR. OZ DO "BROAD-WAY" MUSICAL, IT WILL BE CALLED, "PARADOCSYCLE"
Curtain Up, Lite dem lites, they got nutin to do butt relax. Starting here, starting now, Darling( and Darlingala's), Everything's comin up roses or the stems could be tighten., Look in the mirror, what do
you see a new person who used to be me! Funny your a person who went under, couldn't face
the facts of age. Funny here's that needle again here, the one with the little gage.
In just a few hours, you'll be swollen like a pig, ewe know. But, in a few months you'll be beaming
from ear to ear. I just hope your ears still look like ears, instead of ears of corn. If this comes true,
you could always, pop your corn. (Bada Bing, Bada Bang)
Will it be a Hit or a miss. Hopefully if a man let's these two tinseltown Dr. Strangeloves, operate, he won't
turn out to be a "Miss" ( if dis needs 'splaining, fugett it)
Speaking of Broadway Hits, I hear that the story of "ZaZuPitts" will also be a Musical Xtravaganza.
Funny when I waz growing up, I thought ZaZu, was a fruit, filled with pitts.
And yes Michael Douglas will star in the life story of "Liberachee" Mark Damon will play his lover.
Kinda like "Good Will Hunting meets The Birdcage. Think of the sequals, "Great Balls Of Fire Island"
Mel Brook's, "Men In Tights, To-To" The Aunty Murphy bio,"To Hehm and Back"
Well thatz about it, boyz & girls, My name is still Marshall Bitkower and izn't it stupid that
Tiger Woods entered the Masters, when he really wanted to enter(bad choice of words).
Masters And Johnson?
you see a new person who used to be me! Funny your a person who went under, couldn't face
the facts of age. Funny here's that needle again here, the one with the little gage.
In just a few hours, you'll be swollen like a pig, ewe know. But, in a few months you'll be beaming
from ear to ear. I just hope your ears still look like ears, instead of ears of corn. If this comes true,
you could always, pop your corn. (Bada Bing, Bada Bang)
Will it be a Hit or a miss. Hopefully if a man let's these two tinseltown Dr. Strangeloves, operate, he won't
turn out to be a "Miss" ( if dis needs 'splaining, fugett it)
Speaking of Broadway Hits, I hear that the story of "ZaZuPitts" will also be a Musical Xtravaganza.
Funny when I waz growing up, I thought ZaZu, was a fruit, filled with pitts.
And yes Michael Douglas will star in the life story of "Liberachee" Mark Damon will play his lover.
Kinda like "Good Will Hunting meets The Birdcage. Think of the sequals, "Great Balls Of Fire Island"
Mel Brook's, "Men In Tights, To-To" The Aunty Murphy bio,"To Hehm and Back"
Well thatz about it, boyz & girls, My name is still Marshall Bitkower and izn't it stupid that
Tiger Woods entered the Masters, when he really wanted to enter(bad choice of words).
Masters And Johnson?
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Are Tiger's in the Circus neutered? Well we know of one "Tiger" that needs it.
Remember Mr. Mc Gue? He was a wittle fellow who was very near sighted and never
saw things clearly. Kinda like Dr. Tim Leaey"aura" Well he has come, kinda like Tiger,
out of sexclusion and has changed his name and has converted to Judiesum. He tried to
become a Muslim, but he couldn't stop eating. He looked too much like Budda, to become
a Buddist.
With his converting, he enrolled in a "Circomescission School" Or ass it is called
"Ya,Ya Ya, I go Too Swingin Scho-uuull" He thought it meant a Swinging Schul"
He soon joined the eye-site impaired fraturnity( named for the grate movie) "From Hear
To Fraternity" The cast included Deborah Kerr, John Kerr, Kermit the frog, Allan Carr, The Cars,
Vickie Carrr, Borris Carloft, The CarrPenters, Chilli Con Carnee, Abe Lassfogel, Bebe Neworth,
Moishe Pipick, Doodles Weaver, The Weavers, Darlene Love, Lovey Arum( of put up your dukes
fame) and Jessee James, who should of died with Billy The Kid.
INTERMISSION, not a style of making love!
Ok, so here's the latest from Spinciltown. Mr. Mc Gue-Stein has become a recognized Moyle,
butt of course he cannot regognize himself. He has offered his free sevices to Tigerama, who has
"Rammed" alot, especially in Eilot. This could be the woodsman's salvation.
Of course leftovers would be donated to all that watch, "Nip and Tuck" Or in Tigerland," Nip and Fuck"
This Shirley( #79, on his hit list) could possably save his sliding and slippery(Bada, Bing, Bada BANG)
car-ear. If my brother's dog could go through this, then Tiger should,too.
Would anybody then care about his "short-comings?"
I am still Marshall Bitkower and I'm still wondering if the bride and groom will be wearing
stillettoe heals, at the Cowell Wedding.
saw things clearly. Kinda like Dr. Tim Leaey"aura" Well he has come, kinda like Tiger,
out of sexclusion and has changed his name and has converted to Judiesum. He tried to
become a Muslim, but he couldn't stop eating. He looked too much like Budda, to become
a Buddist.
With his converting, he enrolled in a "Circomescission School" Or ass it is called
"Ya,Ya Ya, I go Too Swingin Scho-uuull" He thought it meant a Swinging Schul"
He soon joined the eye-site impaired fraturnity( named for the grate movie) "From Hear
To Fraternity" The cast included Deborah Kerr, John Kerr, Kermit the frog, Allan Carr, The Cars,
Vickie Carrr, Borris Carloft, The CarrPenters, Chilli Con Carnee, Abe Lassfogel, Bebe Neworth,
Moishe Pipick, Doodles Weaver, The Weavers, Darlene Love, Lovey Arum( of put up your dukes
fame) and Jessee James, who should of died with Billy The Kid.
INTERMISSION, not a style of making love!
Ok, so here's the latest from Spinciltown. Mr. Mc Gue-Stein has become a recognized Moyle,
butt of course he cannot regognize himself. He has offered his free sevices to Tigerama, who has
"Rammed" alot, especially in Eilot. This could be the woodsman's salvation.
Of course leftovers would be donated to all that watch, "Nip and Tuck" Or in Tigerland," Nip and Fuck"
This Shirley( #79, on his hit list) could possably save his sliding and slippery(Bada, Bing, Bada BANG)
car-ear. If my brother's dog could go through this, then Tiger should,too.
Would anybody then care about his "short-comings?"
I am still Marshall Bitkower and I'm still wondering if the bride and groom will be wearing
stillettoe heals, at the Cowell Wedding.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I Made a Mistake in my previous blog. Yes me screwed up.
I should of said that Allen's and Reggie's horse, named Dakota, was a palomino.That is because
they are friends with Itrallions. I hope you understand, cause eyes iz really trying. Marshall
they are friends with Itrallions. I hope you understand, cause eyes iz really trying. Marshall
And You Thought Hemingway Wrote "The Son Also Rises" Wrong, don't you know anything about Easter?
Howdy You all, I've been secretly observing the Texas Sceenery, igogneattoe. These Texans do not'
where 10gallon hats, If they did, they would be bigger taen what Sparkletz delivers. I.ve taken a
hi-atez from Jollywood and the "Valley" and have set up shop where the "Yellow Rose of Texas",
had her origin, Not to be confused with my aunt, Rose Shapiro. Yes I am 1/2 a Shapiro.
"Who knew?" there are Jewish people named Shapiro. Marlee Maitland, never told me.
I am now a full fledged member of "The Hill Country Jewish Community Center"
Jewno what is interesting, my new friends, Allen and his lovely wife Reggie, who are from
Brooklyn, along with that tree that grew there, are now living here on a :ranchette"
A ranchette is having 100 acres or less. Of course I was brought up to call it a Renchette.
You see Jewish Cowboys live on a" rench"
Alan and Reggies minnie Ponderosa is 7acres, They have a palomino( named after being
friendly with an Itarallion) Hey Dino if you will read this, give it to Frank, when you are done
with it)
You know that Sandra Bullock is from Texas. Some person should put barbed wire around
Jessie and his girls( where is Rick Springfield?) public parts and throw them into a heard of
stampeeding horses and buffaloes. It will surely save attorney's fees.( Bada, Bing)
I am petioning for Texas to reapply "Hanging" for all people convicted here of using the word,
"Moseeing along" I believe that Mel Brooks started this movement or was that movement started
in "Blazzing Saddles?" Speaking of movement, I am glad that Mel Gibsoned latest movie tanked
at the box office. He and OJ should start a club and use the club, on each other!( 2nd. Bada, Bing)
My brother Greg, is a fine musician and has a band called "The Flashbacks" They do songs that
people can enjoy, not the alleged songs that are recorded today, such as "I found my thrills, taking
Britney's pills" Or that new hit, "A shot gun to the head, is better than the greatful dead"
I am still Marshall, or as people refer to me as Marshall the Marshall.
PS- I applied to be a Texas Ranger, there are 108 of them, but they only take from their
own Texas police officers. You need 8 yrs. of Piece Officer's expierience. They told me
that my expierience with riding around with Hollywood Vice, did knot qualify.
where 10gallon hats, If they did, they would be bigger taen what Sparkletz delivers. I.ve taken a
hi-atez from Jollywood and the "Valley" and have set up shop where the "Yellow Rose of Texas",
had her origin, Not to be confused with my aunt, Rose Shapiro. Yes I am 1/2 a Shapiro.
"Who knew?" there are Jewish people named Shapiro. Marlee Maitland, never told me.
I am now a full fledged member of "The Hill Country Jewish Community Center"
Jewno what is interesting, my new friends, Allen and his lovely wife Reggie, who are from
Brooklyn, along with that tree that grew there, are now living here on a :ranchette"
A ranchette is having 100 acres or less. Of course I was brought up to call it a Renchette.
You see Jewish Cowboys live on a" rench"
Alan and Reggies minnie Ponderosa is 7acres, They have a palomino( named after being
friendly with an Itarallion) Hey Dino if you will read this, give it to Frank, when you are done
with it)
You know that Sandra Bullock is from Texas. Some person should put barbed wire around
Jessie and his girls( where is Rick Springfield?) public parts and throw them into a heard of
stampeeding horses and buffaloes. It will surely save attorney's fees.( Bada, Bing)
I am petioning for Texas to reapply "Hanging" for all people convicted here of using the word,
"Moseeing along" I believe that Mel Brooks started this movement or was that movement started
in "Blazzing Saddles?" Speaking of movement, I am glad that Mel Gibsoned latest movie tanked
at the box office. He and OJ should start a club and use the club, on each other!( 2nd. Bada, Bing)
My brother Greg, is a fine musician and has a band called "The Flashbacks" They do songs that
people can enjoy, not the alleged songs that are recorded today, such as "I found my thrills, taking
Britney's pills" Or that new hit, "A shot gun to the head, is better than the greatful dead"
I am still Marshall, or as people refer to me as Marshall the Marshall.
PS- I applied to be a Texas Ranger, there are 108 of them, but they only take from their
own Texas police officers. You need 8 yrs. of Piece Officer's expierience. They told me
that my expierience with riding around with Hollywood Vice, did knot qualify.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
JAMES CAMERON AND X-WIFE, KATHERINE BIGELO, FIGHT OVER "OSCAR" WHEN I GOT DIVORCED, MY X AND I FOUGHT OVER MEMBERSHIP TO THE PRIVATE CLUB, "PIPS"
Did Ja ever wonder about the stupid and trivial "crap", that people fight over? There once waz a pvt. club
in Beverly Hills, called "Pips" It was very exclusive because it was very expensive to join and their bylaws
stated upon a divorce, only one could keep the membership. During my lovely divorce proceedings,
where I had eight different attorneys, I sought custody of my three German Shepard Dogs and the
"Pips" card. I was awarded my dogs and was told their was a "Hit" on me, if I did not relinquish
my membership to "Pips"
Finally the great Judge, Harry Shaefer, flipped a coin and I won the Pips Membership.
Today, such a vital item would be placed on E-bay, 4 sell. Judge Shaefer would take his most
interesting divorce cases and sell them to various television networks. I got a call one night, to watch
on television, a movie of the week, called "Divorce Wars" I rolled over (like my dogs) laughing,
because a couple was fighting over custody of their three German Shepards. I was his-tearicle
because I was watching my divorce on NBC.
The one issue that was never fought over, was the custody of my son. My x-wife was awarded
custody and I had reasonable visitation rights. At least our insanity was never tested, for the sake
of my son.
Throughout this tormented ritual of divorce, my x only had one lawyer. Being an attorney and having
to rely on another attorney's advice, was knot something I was used to dealing with. That is why I had
eight different divorce lawyers. This included myself, who I fired because I was not doing a good job.
When I now think about the fighting over the "Pips" membership, I start to laugh over all the negative
energy involved in keeping that membership. What I lost track of, was in not fighting over my membership
in The Human Race. How little of us take that membership seriously.
This is one club, that doesn't cost to join, nor are their dues to pay.
So back to The Academy Awards Nominees, I would suggest that if James or Katherine win,
for best Directing, that they share this award with their x. After all, the sum total of their craft
was built from parts of both players. Joint custody ain't a bad idea, certainly less expensive
than attorney fees.
I am still Marshall Bitkower, a bit older, a bit wiser, a bit still edgy, but what the hell, we only
go around once. Perhaps our adversaries and x's, don't seem to know this.
By the way, I llok forward to Pres. Clinton and Pres. Bush, apearing on "Hung", the series.
One of them should be "Hung", from a tree, but he wouldn't know it and one should write a book,
about being a "Tiger", in the white House.
in Beverly Hills, called "Pips" It was very exclusive because it was very expensive to join and their bylaws
stated upon a divorce, only one could keep the membership. During my lovely divorce proceedings,
where I had eight different attorneys, I sought custody of my three German Shepard Dogs and the
"Pips" card. I was awarded my dogs and was told their was a "Hit" on me, if I did not relinquish
my membership to "Pips"
Finally the great Judge, Harry Shaefer, flipped a coin and I won the Pips Membership.
Today, such a vital item would be placed on E-bay, 4 sell. Judge Shaefer would take his most
interesting divorce cases and sell them to various television networks. I got a call one night, to watch
on television, a movie of the week, called "Divorce Wars" I rolled over (like my dogs) laughing,
because a couple was fighting over custody of their three German Shepards. I was his-tearicle
because I was watching my divorce on NBC.
The one issue that was never fought over, was the custody of my son. My x-wife was awarded
custody and I had reasonable visitation rights. At least our insanity was never tested, for the sake
of my son.
Throughout this tormented ritual of divorce, my x only had one lawyer. Being an attorney and having
to rely on another attorney's advice, was knot something I was used to dealing with. That is why I had
eight different divorce lawyers. This included myself, who I fired because I was not doing a good job.
When I now think about the fighting over the "Pips" membership, I start to laugh over all the negative
energy involved in keeping that membership. What I lost track of, was in not fighting over my membership
in The Human Race. How little of us take that membership seriously.
This is one club, that doesn't cost to join, nor are their dues to pay.
So back to The Academy Awards Nominees, I would suggest that if James or Katherine win,
for best Directing, that they share this award with their x. After all, the sum total of their craft
was built from parts of both players. Joint custody ain't a bad idea, certainly less expensive
than attorney fees.
I am still Marshall Bitkower, a bit older, a bit wiser, a bit still edgy, but what the hell, we only
go around once. Perhaps our adversaries and x's, don't seem to know this.
By the way, I llok forward to Pres. Clinton and Pres. Bush, apearing on "Hung", the series.
One of them should be "Hung", from a tree, but he wouldn't know it and one should write a book,
about being a "Tiger", in the white House.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Golden Globe Awards, a show of class, glamour girls with quite an ass and a place where Sandra Bullock can gracefully say "BullShit" After all it was on the NBC (Neckrophiliacs Bribe Conan) Networst.
Last night on the once honored NBC, where there once was the "Diamond" of Broadcasting, which
is now called "The Well-Dung" networst. had the classiest and starful awards show.
The Golden Globes has always been a class act show. Most of the people attending know what
it is to really "stretch" out and "suck" it in( these were one call starlets) Each person attending
is given a picture of themselves, in one year. Most are then given various upcoming( isn't that
a great word?) dates for a wittle Nip/Tuck time. These Royal Punim's, will soon look 14yrs.
younger. For the "Cougar" look, the fee is $6500.00, for each time you have been married
or each time you had sex with the same person, for five times or more.
Former Oscars, Tony's, Emmy's, Grammy's and proof of ownership in a TV series, with over
115 episodes, can be used as collateral, but not to exceed $250.00
Ricky Gervais had some brilliant moments. When he introduced Mel Gibson, who looked
like he had too many Gibson's, it was like watching Hitler touring a "Viking/Mele" store.
I would like to see Haley Barry, Natalie Portman, Julianne Margolies, Rachael Weitz and
that Raven girl from "24", starring in the new version of "Make Room For Daddy" and I
wood play the "Daddy" In this case the step daddy. I would help raise these tender morsals
of Tinsel-Town.
Meryl Streep is having a ball, in all these great comedic roles. This is one "CupCake" who is
always great in "Rolls" she is cast in. One of my favorite rolls she played, was that of the " Kaiser"
Now that was a roll(Bada-Bing) Sandra Bullock has become a "National Treasure" Now wonder
she has Jesse James guarding her. I loved his mother, Joni!
The Phrase, Suave , Charming and Debonaire, was created for George Clooney.
Maybe if I'm lucky enough, in 20yrs., to get a part in James Cameron's next movie
"THE BIBLE" Pro vs Con., I two might be a Golden Globe Nominee.
Till then, great title for a song, I am still Marshall Bitkower, the crooning warbler, who
is trying out Sat., to be The American Susan Boyle. And my thanks to George/Molly,
Greg/Ellen, Conrad/Elaine, Mary & The Maryinettes, Rogers/Astaire, Vanna White/
Vowl Movement, The Ungar Library, Danny/Juniors, Julia/Julia, Howdy/His Doody/
The Texico Star Men, Fernando/Esther, Debbie/Elizabeth, Harpo/Chico/Marxism's,
The Chairman Of The Board Of The Mile Hi Club, Bill Clinton, Hillary/The Flying Nun
Ryan Seacrest/Sea Men, Lollipop/Lolipop, Bernie Gelson/Mrs. Gooch, Lone Ranger/Teller
(no Penn) and that Special Girl From Wilson High School/Legal Sectratary, who is really
a "JOY" to beheld.
is now called "The Well-Dung" networst. had the classiest and starful awards show.
The Golden Globes has always been a class act show. Most of the people attending know what
it is to really "stretch" out and "suck" it in( these were one call starlets) Each person attending
is given a picture of themselves, in one year. Most are then given various upcoming( isn't that
a great word?) dates for a wittle Nip/Tuck time. These Royal Punim's, will soon look 14yrs.
younger. For the "Cougar" look, the fee is $6500.00, for each time you have been married
or each time you had sex with the same person, for five times or more.
Former Oscars, Tony's, Emmy's, Grammy's and proof of ownership in a TV series, with over
115 episodes, can be used as collateral, but not to exceed $250.00
Ricky Gervais had some brilliant moments. When he introduced Mel Gibson, who looked
like he had too many Gibson's, it was like watching Hitler touring a "Viking/Mele" store.
I would like to see Haley Barry, Natalie Portman, Julianne Margolies, Rachael Weitz and
that Raven girl from "24", starring in the new version of "Make Room For Daddy" and I
wood play the "Daddy" In this case the step daddy. I would help raise these tender morsals
of Tinsel-Town.
Meryl Streep is having a ball, in all these great comedic roles. This is one "CupCake" who is
always great in "Rolls" she is cast in. One of my favorite rolls she played, was that of the " Kaiser"
Now that was a roll(Bada-Bing) Sandra Bullock has become a "National Treasure" Now wonder
she has Jesse James guarding her. I loved his mother, Joni!
The Phrase, Suave , Charming and Debonaire, was created for George Clooney.
Maybe if I'm lucky enough, in 20yrs., to get a part in James Cameron's next movie
"THE BIBLE" Pro vs Con., I two might be a Golden Globe Nominee.
Till then, great title for a song, I am still Marshall Bitkower, the crooning warbler, who
is trying out Sat., to be The American Susan Boyle. And my thanks to George/Molly,
Greg/Ellen, Conrad/Elaine, Mary & The Maryinettes, Rogers/Astaire, Vanna White/
Vowl Movement, The Ungar Library, Danny/Juniors, Julia/Julia, Howdy/His Doody/
The Texico Star Men, Fernando/Esther, Debbie/Elizabeth, Harpo/Chico/Marxism's,
The Chairman Of The Board Of The Mile Hi Club, Bill Clinton, Hillary/The Flying Nun
Ryan Seacrest/Sea Men, Lollipop/Lolipop, Bernie Gelson/Mrs. Gooch, Lone Ranger/Teller
(no Penn) and that Special Girl From Wilson High School/Legal Sectratary, who is really
a "JOY" to beheld.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
NBC'S RATINGS ARE LOWER THAN LADY GA GA'S GA GA'S. FOX ISA PHONAN, FOR CONAN. LETTERMAN IS CALLING IT, "THE CIRCUS OF STARS"
The NBC Network, aka Nudge By Conan, is in dire-straights of having it's PeaCock shaved.
It seems "The Jay Leno 10pm, 5 days a week , has died a quick death. Much faster than Tiger's
appetight binges or faster than a speeding bullet. Jay ought to put his stale jokes and low libedo
into a musium, just like he has for his cars. Poor Conan( wasn't he one of the "Coneheads",
has been offered a spot, at 12.05am. the problem is, it cannot be called the Tonight Show,
more like the "After Tonight Show" This is because the very talented program directors there,
are given Jay a 11.30pm show. If I am correct Jay started the Tonight show, when it was
90 minutes, which became a 60 minute broadcast. Now, The Nitwits By Choice Networth'
want to give Jay 30 minutes. Hey Leno, do you see a pattern here?
I wonder what Mavis has to say, hell, is there really a Mavis? Why doesn't the poporatsi's find her
and grill her for answers. Why doesn't CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, The Cartoon Networth and the
Dupont Networth, offer one million daollars, for just a photo of her.
At least Johnnie Carson, used to show all his ex wives and the current one. David Letterman
has shown pictures of his wife. Conan has never shown pictures of his "Farfell Family" ( now that's funny)
Jimmy Kimmel, was really funny last night, he wore a 25lb.chin, when talking about Jay.
Jimmy Fallen, is keeping his mouth closed. Like he should of done in the movie , with
Queen Laydiva!!
Poor Carson Daily, no one really watched his show, now only Jay and Conan will be watching.
As for the asstoot NBC Mental Mensch's, I hear they are working( working?) to fill the gap at 10pm,
Monday-Friday. Here are my suggestions for new shows.(bathroom break, be right back)
Mon. 10 pm-"Law and Disorder", the true story of the program executives at NBC.
Tues. 10pm-"Fairy Tails of The Young & The Restless" Masked true stories of how many men
from William Morris End-ever, slept with the Pea-cock, to get a head in this business.
Wed. 10pm-The reality series, "Inside James Cameron's Brain". This show will be dedicated to
all relatives of Studio's, who never had a hit movie, grossing over $1.25
Thurs. 10pm-Saint Elsewear and Dr. Kildare join forces and look for a cure for "Bordom"
Fri. 10pm- Re-runs of, " THE DINAH SHORE SHOW", showing how to see the "USA in your
Chevrolet, America's the greatest land of all" Burt Reynolds and David Nelson, will co-host.
So Ladies and Gentlemen and All The Ships At Sea, I am still Marshall Bitkower, soon to be
known as Marshall The Crooner. Another showing of who I am. In the meantime, why is
Elmer Fudd, still in charge of America's Intelligence Agencies?
It seems "The Jay Leno 10pm, 5 days a week , has died a quick death. Much faster than Tiger's
appetight binges or faster than a speeding bullet. Jay ought to put his stale jokes and low libedo
into a musium, just like he has for his cars. Poor Conan( wasn't he one of the "Coneheads",
has been offered a spot, at 12.05am. the problem is, it cannot be called the Tonight Show,
more like the "After Tonight Show" This is because the very talented program directors there,
are given Jay a 11.30pm show. If I am correct Jay started the Tonight show, when it was
90 minutes, which became a 60 minute broadcast. Now, The Nitwits By Choice Networth'
want to give Jay 30 minutes. Hey Leno, do you see a pattern here?
I wonder what Mavis has to say, hell, is there really a Mavis? Why doesn't the poporatsi's find her
and grill her for answers. Why doesn't CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, The Cartoon Networth and the
Dupont Networth, offer one million daollars, for just a photo of her.
At least Johnnie Carson, used to show all his ex wives and the current one. David Letterman
has shown pictures of his wife. Conan has never shown pictures of his "Farfell Family" ( now that's funny)
Jimmy Kimmel, was really funny last night, he wore a 25lb.chin, when talking about Jay.
Jimmy Fallen, is keeping his mouth closed. Like he should of done in the movie , with
Queen Laydiva!!
Poor Carson Daily, no one really watched his show, now only Jay and Conan will be watching.
As for the asstoot NBC Mental Mensch's, I hear they are working( working?) to fill the gap at 10pm,
Monday-Friday. Here are my suggestions for new shows.(bathroom break, be right back)
Mon. 10 pm-"Law and Disorder", the true story of the program executives at NBC.
Tues. 10pm-"Fairy Tails of The Young & The Restless" Masked true stories of how many men
from William Morris End-ever, slept with the Pea-cock, to get a head in this business.
Wed. 10pm-The reality series, "Inside James Cameron's Brain". This show will be dedicated to
all relatives of Studio's, who never had a hit movie, grossing over $1.25
Thurs. 10pm-Saint Elsewear and Dr. Kildare join forces and look for a cure for "Bordom"
Fri. 10pm- Re-runs of, " THE DINAH SHORE SHOW", showing how to see the "USA in your
Chevrolet, America's the greatest land of all" Burt Reynolds and David Nelson, will co-host.
So Ladies and Gentlemen and All The Ships At Sea, I am still Marshall Bitkower, soon to be
known as Marshall The Crooner. Another showing of who I am. In the meantime, why is
Elmer Fudd, still in charge of America's Intelligence Agencies?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
GUESS WHAT? I'M BACK AND YOU MUST BE TOO. IF YOU AREN'T BACK, THEN CLOSE. I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT THINGS ARE BETTER, BUT I HEAR THAT GENERAL MOTORS HAS BEEN DEMOTED TO PVT. MOTORS.
Well ,we survived 2009,(WHOOOPEE) but some of us did not. Tiger Woods, has been secluded
in a private place. He's bundled up in a "warm" and "cozy" spot, somewhere in the "Deep" South.
The weather reports say that the climate is "moist", with no sighns of humility insight. Insight is one
thing Tiger does not seem to have., although he's had alot of other things.
California's Govenor, Coneadd The Terminator, gave his "True Lies" State of the State speech
today, His wife had to leave, because her cell phone's song,"Hell To The Chief", went off. It
turned out the caller was Sylvester Stallone. Sly reminded her that the script is fininished for the
movie he and Arnie will be filming, in a few years. The tentative title is "Alter Cockers Do Activia"
Jamie Lee Curtis, will co-star. Who would of "Guest?" ( now that's funny)
The Awards Show Season has started. The People's Choice Awards has Queen Laydiva, as itz
Hostess. I'm sure she will knot be the only "Queen", at this gayla event. Adam Lambert, the new
"Revlon" spokesperson, will be introducing the new "Lipstick Stick", which contain batteries. Need
I say more? Another item he will introduce, will be Adam's Moisterizing Cream. I won't ask what
area it will be applied, but there are two places of interest. I hear the C.I.A. is investigating the fact
that Adam and his "Apple" have been seen all over(or under) West Hollywierd, dressed in Laycee
Army Fatigues.
Mr. Awards Man(?) Neil Patrick Harris, will explain on TMZ, why his parents gave him two Manly
Man names.I guess "Mary Jayne" wood of been the names of choice, kinda like free-choice!
The Numbing Award, has been given to Jay Leno. The Award was given for the "Dullest" hour on TV.
Jay's trite and tiresome "funnies" are the Ambien of The Television Networth. Perhaps NBC, now
means "Not By Choice"
Mary Tyler Moore and Jesse Ventura, will have a new sit calm, on the Milk Of Magnesium Channel.
It will be titled,"They Went That Away" (bada bing,bada bang)
News Flash---The Los Angeles Presevation Society has renamed The LaBrea Tar Pits. The new name
is, The LaBrea Avitar Pits" Did juno that 20th Century Fox gave James Cameron a $100,000,000
bonus for the "Titanic" movie, which grossed ( according to Mrs. Gross) almost two billion dollars.
20th Century Fox is projecting a 4.5 billion dollar gross for "Avitar". They are now negoiating with
Congress to buy and give James, The State Of Alaska. Watch out Sarah, you might be transported
to a new planet and you may grow a tail. This time, you maybe the "Hunted" and won't have your
Levi"s on for fast running. Sarah running, can you just imagine that?
James Cameron's next movie will be about a Luxury Cruise Ship, with 19,000 passengers, which is
wisked away and lands on William Shatner, who still dresses as James T. Kirk. The movie will be a
dramedy, called "Space Ships" ( isn't that cute?) The Plotz involves a Canadian Shakespearean, or Bacon,
actor, who yearns to meet a man with pointy ears. He creates an "Enterprise" of super crews ships, which surge to various unknown worlds. The vessels main squeeze, Ms. Oh-Whorea, has Come a board, to
develope the first Intergalactia Brothel. Think of it, Intercourse in Interspace.
Well that's about it for now, boys and girls, combinations there of, plus good luck to TNT, for giving
"Southland", another chance.
My name is still Marshall Bitkower. By the vay, whatever happened to Veronica Lake, Arthur Lake,
Swan Lake, Lisa Edelstein's halter top, Shelley Nelbert, Mike Glickman, Francis Scott Key, Sabu,
Tony Marshall, Denise Dannon, Marion & George Kirby, Sidney Toler, Philo Vance, Tommy Rettig,
and "Nate", from "Nate n Al's?"
in a private place. He's bundled up in a "warm" and "cozy" spot, somewhere in the "Deep" South.
The weather reports say that the climate is "moist", with no sighns of humility insight. Insight is one
thing Tiger does not seem to have., although he's had alot of other things.
California's Govenor, Coneadd The Terminator, gave his "True Lies" State of the State speech
today, His wife had to leave, because her cell phone's song,"Hell To The Chief", went off. It
turned out the caller was Sylvester Stallone. Sly reminded her that the script is fininished for the
movie he and Arnie will be filming, in a few years. The tentative title is "Alter Cockers Do Activia"
Jamie Lee Curtis, will co-star. Who would of "Guest?" ( now that's funny)
The Awards Show Season has started. The People's Choice Awards has Queen Laydiva, as itz
Hostess. I'm sure she will knot be the only "Queen", at this gayla event. Adam Lambert, the new
"Revlon" spokesperson, will be introducing the new "Lipstick Stick", which contain batteries. Need
I say more? Another item he will introduce, will be Adam's Moisterizing Cream. I won't ask what
area it will be applied, but there are two places of interest. I hear the C.I.A. is investigating the fact
that Adam and his "Apple" have been seen all over(or under) West Hollywierd, dressed in Laycee
Army Fatigues.
Mr. Awards Man(?) Neil Patrick Harris, will explain on TMZ, why his parents gave him two Manly
Man names.I guess "Mary Jayne" wood of been the names of choice, kinda like free-choice!
The Numbing Award, has been given to Jay Leno. The Award was given for the "Dullest" hour on TV.
Jay's trite and tiresome "funnies" are the Ambien of The Television Networth. Perhaps NBC, now
means "Not By Choice"
Mary Tyler Moore and Jesse Ventura, will have a new sit calm, on the Milk Of Magnesium Channel.
It will be titled,"They Went That Away" (bada bing,bada bang)
News Flash---The Los Angeles Presevation Society has renamed The LaBrea Tar Pits. The new name
is, The LaBrea Avitar Pits" Did juno that 20th Century Fox gave James Cameron a $100,000,000
bonus for the "Titanic" movie, which grossed ( according to Mrs. Gross) almost two billion dollars.
20th Century Fox is projecting a 4.5 billion dollar gross for "Avitar". They are now negoiating with
Congress to buy and give James, The State Of Alaska. Watch out Sarah, you might be transported
to a new planet and you may grow a tail. This time, you maybe the "Hunted" and won't have your
Levi"s on for fast running. Sarah running, can you just imagine that?
James Cameron's next movie will be about a Luxury Cruise Ship, with 19,000 passengers, which is
wisked away and lands on William Shatner, who still dresses as James T. Kirk. The movie will be a
dramedy, called "Space Ships" ( isn't that cute?) The Plotz involves a Canadian Shakespearean, or Bacon,
actor, who yearns to meet a man with pointy ears. He creates an "Enterprise" of super crews ships, which surge to various unknown worlds. The vessels main squeeze, Ms. Oh-Whorea, has Come a board, to
develope the first Intergalactia Brothel. Think of it, Intercourse in Interspace.
Well that's about it for now, boys and girls, combinations there of, plus good luck to TNT, for giving
"Southland", another chance.
My name is still Marshall Bitkower. By the vay, whatever happened to Veronica Lake, Arthur Lake,
Swan Lake, Lisa Edelstein's halter top, Shelley Nelbert, Mike Glickman, Francis Scott Key, Sabu,
Tony Marshall, Denise Dannon, Marion & George Kirby, Sidney Toler, Philo Vance, Tommy Rettig,
and "Nate", from "Nate n Al's?"
Thursday, December 31, 2009
BYE,BYE 2009, I DID KNOT LIKE YOU, I WILL NOT MISS YOU AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU HAD NO MEANING, YOU WERE "MEAN" TO EVERYONE & EVERYTHING, IF WE KNEW WHAT YOU WERE ALL ABOUT, WE WOULD OF PASSED ON YOU. IN OTHER WORDS, "YOU SUCK"
I had a Professor in Law School, who would say to anything that he did knot like,"Kiss Mere In Toukess",
you do not have to be Jewish to figure-out ( like Kirsty Alley) what this expression means.
You initially charmed us, when you entered after New Years Eve, 2008, but we learned what a phoney you
were. PHD's and Psychiatrists, from television and acclaimed member's of Harvard, Westlake schools,
Stanford (and son's) MIT, Cal-Teck, Rydell High, Dr. House, Dr. Do-Little, Doctoured Documents,
Gelson"s and Our Miss Brooks, all agree that you vere nothing, except a real "Dr. Evil". Mike Myers
played you in da movies. You could of seen it at IMAX or MINY ME.( Bada Bing, Bada Bob)
Weemember "The Road Movies", such as "Road To Rodeo Dr?" Now yous nose who Bing & Bob were.
Now where was I, oh yeah, in Woodland Hills. Now back to 2009, a real "schmuck", of a year.
Perhaps 2010, will be a better year. We all could use some tranquilty in our lives. Hay, if we survived
2009, maybe there is still Hope four the Human Race. It looks like 2010 could be our saving Grace.
Thank You, George Burns! If Sherlock Homes ( not to be confused with KB Homes) can gross,
$65, 000,000 the first week and Avitar can gross $610,000,000, in 7 days, then we gonna make
it,two.
I wish to personally Thank, George and Molly Hatcher, Greg and Ellen Bitkower, Balfore and Suzanne
Lax and Punky Lax, My Sis, Mary Hatcher and her kids, Dr. Mark and Lisa Goulston, James and Karen
Vititoe and Mrs. Calabash, wherever she iz, for the warmth and understanding, that they have given me
throughout the year(s)
I, also Thank God, that my son, Mark Bitkower and I have a relationship again and I wish a speedy
recovery, to a Very Special Hungarian Lady, from Long Beach,Calif., who will always be the Love
Of My Life. God Speed, God Bless and may 2010 be the year of understanding and peace.
I, am still Marshall Bitkower and I still miss Dean Martin and my Baby Girl, Emmy. Now drive safely
tonight, because the person in the other car, could be you and your loved ones. Except for Tiger Woods,
who has loved ones,twos,threes,fours, and now is "UP" (now that's funny) into double digets and double
C's and dble. D's.
you do not have to be Jewish to figure-out ( like Kirsty Alley) what this expression means.
You initially charmed us, when you entered after New Years Eve, 2008, but we learned what a phoney you
were. PHD's and Psychiatrists, from television and acclaimed member's of Harvard, Westlake schools,
Stanford (and son's) MIT, Cal-Teck, Rydell High, Dr. House, Dr. Do-Little, Doctoured Documents,
Gelson"s and Our Miss Brooks, all agree that you vere nothing, except a real "Dr. Evil". Mike Myers
played you in da movies. You could of seen it at IMAX or MINY ME.( Bada Bing, Bada Bob)
Weemember "The Road Movies", such as "Road To Rodeo Dr?" Now yous nose who Bing & Bob were.
Now where was I, oh yeah, in Woodland Hills. Now back to 2009, a real "schmuck", of a year.
Perhaps 2010, will be a better year. We all could use some tranquilty in our lives. Hay, if we survived
2009, maybe there is still Hope four the Human Race. It looks like 2010 could be our saving Grace.
Thank You, George Burns! If Sherlock Homes ( not to be confused with KB Homes) can gross,
$65, 000,000 the first week and Avitar can gross $610,000,000, in 7 days, then we gonna make
it,two.
I wish to personally Thank, George and Molly Hatcher, Greg and Ellen Bitkower, Balfore and Suzanne
Lax and Punky Lax, My Sis, Mary Hatcher and her kids, Dr. Mark and Lisa Goulston, James and Karen
Vititoe and Mrs. Calabash, wherever she iz, for the warmth and understanding, that they have given me
throughout the year(s)
I, also Thank God, that my son, Mark Bitkower and I have a relationship again and I wish a speedy
recovery, to a Very Special Hungarian Lady, from Long Beach,Calif., who will always be the Love
Of My Life. God Speed, God Bless and may 2010 be the year of understanding and peace.
I, am still Marshall Bitkower and I still miss Dean Martin and my Baby Girl, Emmy. Now drive safely
tonight, because the person in the other car, could be you and your loved ones. Except for Tiger Woods,
who has loved ones,twos,threes,fours, and now is "UP" (now that's funny) into double digets and double
C's and dble. D's.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER'S, FBI,LAPD,HOMELAND SECURITY,WEST HOLLYWOOD SHERRIFS DEPT ( WITH THEIR CUTE WITTLE OUTFITZ, BORDER PATROL,THE LOAN RANGER AND TONTO,JESSE JAMES AND SANDRA BULLOCK,MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HIS DEPUTY MARSHAL'S,SARGENT PRESTON AND YUCON KING, HUGH DOWNS AND THE CIA, WHO ARE LOOKING FOR THE MEANING OF THE"I" AND THE SONS OF THE PIONEERS, BBG'S/AZA'S AND DEPUTY DON KNOTTS, WILL BE OUT LOOKING FOR VARMITS TO CAPTURE!
To my Fellow and Fellowetts Americans, the largest( keep your out of the gutter and clutter) will be
searching for the worst offenders, you know(knot the candy bar, who dated Mickey Cohen)and eye-no
who even Law & Order(1-3) refuses to dramaties( the ones with Betty Davis,Gig Young,Paul Muni,
John Barrymore,Jon Gosslinen, Denise Ungar, Marcel Marsew, Randy Quaid, The Hardy Boys, Ed Hard-ee, Clint Eastwood, Senator Byrd, "Big"Bird, Fanny Brice, Vincent Price, Holiday On Ice and The Five
Stooges, Vat yous don't remember Ira & Bubbie Stooge and my uncle Mike Shapiro, from the Sands
Hotel in Loss Vegass?
Yes these "dramties" are sold at Buffins, Orbach's, Nat Weiss,Gimbles,Mr.Mike of Beverly Hills and the
parking lot of Delores's and Hamilton High School"s Auditorium, where I sang "Mack The Knife" and inside
Mr. Teaford's wooden leg. (not to be confused with John Wooden)
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, these Law Enforcement, men, women and in/betweiners, are on mission
style, to arrest bad people and bad shows on Television and Cable. The list of "alleged" baddies are
1. Jay Leno, who's 10pm show, is duller than Richard Nixon's grand kids.
2. Katy Cureact, who thinks a new hairstyle is NEWS.
3. HBO's" True Blood ", for never discussing False Blood.
4. To Time Warner, for never doing a movie, based upon The Warner Brothers
5. To Oprah Winfrey, for portraying Oprah Winfrey
6. To CBS, for not putting on, CSI-Tel Aviv (bada bang bada bagels)
7. To The CW for redoing Melrose Place and not showing the pilot for "Ventura Blvd" Where do these
jerks think "Valley Girls" come from.
8. To NBC, for not showing Bob Barker's 115th. Birthday Party.
9. To ABC, for not showing Robert Wagner's Reverse Mortgage Comercials. What "RJ" should be
pitching is "Reverse Aging". By the way, what ever happened to Stephanie Powers? Remember
she was "The Girl From Uncle"
10.To FOX News, for not allowing their girl reporters, to wear "Halter Tops
11. To Carol Burnett, for not having her own show again. Like Leo The Lion said, "That's Entertainment"
12. To Marshall Bitkower, who seems to know all about these "Drippy Do-Due Shows.
Once again,(like a new Tiger Woods Mistress wood say, I think a new one is coming up) it is that time
when I must bid adue to 2009, the year of Heartaches and Avitar. Mr. Cameron, you are a genius,
in spite of the fact that your movie before "Tanked" Now that's "Funny" If you do not get it, get into your
Ford Pinto and drive away. PS I certainly miss my German Shepard and Best Friend, Emmy Bitkower.
searching for the worst offenders, you know(knot the candy bar, who dated Mickey Cohen)and eye-no
who even Law & Order(1-3) refuses to dramaties( the ones with Betty Davis,Gig Young,Paul Muni,
John Barrymore,Jon Gosslinen, Denise Ungar, Marcel Marsew, Randy Quaid, The Hardy Boys, Ed Hard-ee, Clint Eastwood, Senator Byrd, "Big"Bird, Fanny Brice, Vincent Price, Holiday On Ice and The Five
Stooges, Vat yous don't remember Ira & Bubbie Stooge and my uncle Mike Shapiro, from the Sands
Hotel in Loss Vegass?
Yes these "dramties" are sold at Buffins, Orbach's, Nat Weiss,Gimbles,Mr.Mike of Beverly Hills and the
parking lot of Delores's and Hamilton High School"s Auditorium, where I sang "Mack The Knife" and inside
Mr. Teaford's wooden leg. (not to be confused with John Wooden)
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, these Law Enforcement, men, women and in/betweiners, are on mission
style, to arrest bad people and bad shows on Television and Cable. The list of "alleged" baddies are
1. Jay Leno, who's 10pm show, is duller than Richard Nixon's grand kids.
2. Katy Cureact, who thinks a new hairstyle is NEWS.
3. HBO's" True Blood ", for never discussing False Blood.
4. To Time Warner, for never doing a movie, based upon The Warner Brothers
5. To Oprah Winfrey, for portraying Oprah Winfrey
6. To CBS, for not putting on, CSI-Tel Aviv (bada bang bada bagels)
7. To The CW for redoing Melrose Place and not showing the pilot for "Ventura Blvd" Where do these
jerks think "Valley Girls" come from.
8. To NBC, for not showing Bob Barker's 115th. Birthday Party.
9. To ABC, for not showing Robert Wagner's Reverse Mortgage Comercials. What "RJ" should be
pitching is "Reverse Aging". By the way, what ever happened to Stephanie Powers? Remember
she was "The Girl From Uncle"
10.To FOX News, for not allowing their girl reporters, to wear "Halter Tops
11. To Carol Burnett, for not having her own show again. Like Leo The Lion said, "That's Entertainment"
12. To Marshall Bitkower, who seems to know all about these "Drippy Do-Due Shows.
Once again,(like a new Tiger Woods Mistress wood say, I think a new one is coming up) it is that time
when I must bid adue to 2009, the year of Heartaches and Avitar. Mr. Cameron, you are a genius,
in spite of the fact that your movie before "Tanked" Now that's "Funny" If you do not get it, get into your
Ford Pinto and drive away. PS I certainly miss my German Shepard and Best Friend, Emmy Bitkower.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
"HERE YEE, HEAR YEE( WHATEVER A YEE IZ) THEE BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS FOR 2009, WILL SOON BEGIN( NO NOT THE FORMER PRIME MINISTER OF ISREAL). BUT FIRST THERE ARE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO, BEFOUR THEE AWARDS ARE ANNOUNCED.
Grab your Ipods,open your Blackberry's, find your Smart phones ( IQ's of 75+),produce your cell phones
( or cell-u-lite for women)look up your Webb Sites( not Donald Duck),prepare your Emales and fee-male
brides), your AVITAR Shades, with your AVITAR inhalers, your spring chickens, with their spring mattresses, toss out all of Mel Gibson's wedding vows, hidden under his bottles of Gibson's, retract
Bruce Springsteen's favorite dish, a Patti-melt and do not vote for Osmondland, to become the fifty first
State in The United States. This is because every Osmond has eight children, 375 cousins, 550 aunts and
549 uncles(one uncle double dipped)
You probably do not know that the Theme song of Osmondland is" Womb On The Range." Now that's hot
Additionally, throw out your Huggies and Huggy Bears, your Viagra and goulosh's, your Girl Scout Cookies
and Tonto ( think about it Lone Ranger, but not the guy in the bank) Bada Bing, Bada Bang. Discard your
Chrysler Solara and your solar heater, erase the offspring of Capt. Kangaroo and The Grunge, known as
Capt. Kangagrunge ( that is stupid, but I'm knot purrfect)
Take your two week old Latka's and give them to The Army in Irac( not to be related to the song, "Irac all the way home". Destroy all your 3 Musketeer bars and four in hand ties. Cut up all your KY and KGB cards. Seek and destroy all of Glayds Knight's Pips and membership in the private club "Pips"
Purge all Burger King wrappers, but not Snoop Dog, along with audition tapes from "the Young And
The Restless, which show clips of David Hassellhoff, Lindsay Low-han, Kiefer Southerland, Brittney
Spears, Forrest Tucker, Marjorie Lord, Marjorie Main, Mr. Wizzard and Bob Clampett, before they
became stars. Keep the clibs from Ira the Moyle.
NOW WE HAVE COME (AND ARE MORE RELAXED) TO THE EXITING
PART OF OUR PROGRAM. THE BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS FOR 2009
THIS IS A GOOD TIME FOR A BATHROOM BREAK AND TO PUT YOUR KIDS
TO SLEEP, OR SEND THEM TO SIT & SLEEP. ITZ FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
FIRST CATAGORY-ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS
1. THE 14 WOMAN OF THE HIT T.V. SHOW, "HEIDI FLEISS AIN'T TOO WISE" ALL OF THESE
WONDERFUL LADIES, OF THE EVENING, HAVE NOTCH'S ON TIGER WOOD'S PUTTER.
THEY WILL AND HAVE "GONE DOWN" IN THE ANALS OF SPORTS ILL-ISTRATED OPEN
FOURUM OF SLEEZY. ( NOT ONE OF SNOE WHITE'S DWARFS)
I UNDERSTAND THAT EACH OF THE 14, WILL AUDITION FOR THE NEW VERSION OF
"THE PRICE IS RIGHT"
2. THE NEW SYLVESTER STALLONE MOVIE, "THE EXPENDABLES"( ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT WAIST SIZE'S) SLY'S CO-STARS WILL BE, DOLPH LUNDGREN, REIC ROBERTS,
WILFRED BRIMLEY, JETT LEE, DICK VAN DYKE, MEREDETH BAXTER, MARJORIE LORD, MARJORIE MAIN, JON CLAUDE VAN DAMN, VICTOR JORY, REGIS PILLBAN, MICKEY
ROONEY( YES HE IS STILL ALIVE, AT 114YRS.OLD) SABU, RUSS TAMBLYN, NANCY CULP,
NANCY'S BROTHER, ROBERT CULP, MANTAN MORELAND,BURL IVES, DAVID LADD,
JOSE GRECCO,BUDDY GRECCO,HELEN GRACCO, ANN HATHAWAY( THE DAUGHTER OF
"THEY WENT THATAWAY".
CAMEO'S WILL BE, ALEX TREBEC, MORRY THE DELI MAN, NANCY QUAN, POLLY BERGIN, NANCY META, ERNEST BORGNINE, POLLY ADLER, PHILO VANCE, MR. T,
STACY LONDON, A FAVORITE OF MINE, DR. OZ AND HIS FATHER, WIZARD.
PLUS BETTY WHITE AND ROGER MOORE, AS STAR CROSSED LOVERS.
PART OF THE BUDGET WILL BE THE MAKERS OF "GERITOL" AND DONALD TRUMP'S
ALIMONY FUND, VESTED AND FUTURE.
3.JAMES CAMERON, AS THE GENIUS OF THE DECADE. THE MAN WITH SUCH VISION,
THAT HE HAS PREDICTED THAT SARA PALLIN, WILL STAR IN THE REMAKE OF THE FILM
"THE MOUTH THAT ROARD"
4. TO ANJOYLIE JOLIE, FOR BUYING UP THE RIGHTS, TO THE LIFE OF MS. SOUL-EE-MAN
ENTITLED, "I REQUESTED A WIDE BIRTH, BUT NOT IN PURPIDTWOITY"
INTERMISSION, BUT NOT A POSITION.
POLITICK AWARDS
1. SEN. ROBERT BYRD, THE MAN WHO PROVES THAT PERSONALITY AND CONGRESS
ARE NOT RELATED.
2.SEN. CHANEY, THE BLACKSHEEP OF THE LAWN CHANEY DYNASTY. COMPARE HIM
TO CHEVY CHASE ON "SATURDAY NITE LIVE" AUNTICS.
3. MS. NANCY PELOSSIE, A COMBINATION OF BEAUTY, WIT,CHARM AND THE ONLY
PERSON IN GOVERNMENT, WHO COULD FLIP YOU THE "BYRD", WITHOUT MOVING
HER HAND.
5. SARA PALLIN, YES AGAIN, WHO SHOULD NOT GO HUNTING WITH SEN. CHANEY, OR
MAYBE SHE SHOULD.
6. THE FORMER GOV. OF ILL., YOU KNOW THE GUY WITH HIS HAIR OVER HIS EYES,
AS OPPOSED TO THE WOOL OVER HIS EYES, I WILL TRY TO NAME THIS MODERN
"ISHKABIBBLE" RON BRADORIVITCHITCH.
THE SPORTS WORLD AWARDS. IN ALL HUMILITY, THESE PEOPLE THINK THE PHRASE
"BATTERS UP" IS A DESCRIPTION, NOT A SPORT'S TACTIC.
NUMERO UNO, OF COURSE ,GOES TO THE FORMER IDOL OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE,
THE MAN THAT "GOOD HOUSEKEEPING" PICKED AS THE MAN TO LOOK UP TO,
BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE A "FREE AGENT", WITH A MONTHLY INCOME( NOW, THAT'S
A FUNNY WAY OF PUTTING IT) THE WINNER, WHO IS NOW THE BIGGEST LOOSER'
IS TIGER WOODS( WHO SHOULD OF BEEN A MORMON)
I DON'T WANT TO KICK A MAN THAT IS DOWN, BUT WHAT WAS HE THINKING?
ITZ KIND OF LIKE CHINESE FOOD, AFTER AN HOUR, YOU WANT SOME MORE,MORE
AND MORE. ANYONE WHO LEAVES VOICE MASSAGES FOR HIS DESSERTS,
REALLY HAS A LOOSE SCREW. IN TIGER'S CASE(S), HE WAS ONLY AFTER
A TIGHT SCREW. WHERE WERE HIS POSSY"THE CORRECT SPELLING" OF HIS
HANDLERS, WHO SHOULD OF PROTECTED HIS GOODY TWO SHOES IMAGE?
THEY SAW WHAT HE WAS "UP TWO"(OR DOWN TWO) AND USED A LITTLE BRAIN
POWER, TO USE THE PROPER VENUE TO PLEASE HIS STROKES,
WHAT TIGER NEEDED WAS A COL. PARKER, NOT PVT. RUMP-FREE.
2. TO ALEX ROD(NOW THAT'S FUNNY)RIGUEZ, FOR SHOWING HOW TO SLIDE INTO
A HOME RUN. HE HAS SHOWED GREAT STAMINA IN TRADING IN AN OLDER MODEL BLONDE, INTO A YOUNGER ONE. I GUESS HE THOUGHT HE WAS A GREAT PILOT,
BECAUSE HE ALSO LANDED IN THE HUDSON.
3. TO KOBE, FOR LEARNING THE SONG, "DIAMONDS AND A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER, ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.
SO THAT'S IT, THE 2009 BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS ANNOUNCEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE.
I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HARVEY LEVIN(OR UNLEVIN) CAN KEEP HIS
TMZ, I HAVE MY AZA. OH YEAH, BEFOUR I SIGN OFF, FOR TONIGHT, I HEAR THAT
TROJAN CO., MAY HAVE TIGER WOODS, AS THEIR SPOKESMAN, FOR 2010.
( or cell-u-lite for women)look up your Webb Sites( not Donald Duck),prepare your Emales and fee-male
brides), your AVITAR Shades, with your AVITAR inhalers, your spring chickens, with their spring mattresses, toss out all of Mel Gibson's wedding vows, hidden under his bottles of Gibson's, retract
Bruce Springsteen's favorite dish, a Patti-melt and do not vote for Osmondland, to become the fifty first
State in The United States. This is because every Osmond has eight children, 375 cousins, 550 aunts and
549 uncles(one uncle double dipped)
You probably do not know that the Theme song of Osmondland is" Womb On The Range." Now that's hot
Additionally, throw out your Huggies and Huggy Bears, your Viagra and goulosh's, your Girl Scout Cookies
and Tonto ( think about it Lone Ranger, but not the guy in the bank) Bada Bing, Bada Bang. Discard your
Chrysler Solara and your solar heater, erase the offspring of Capt. Kangaroo and The Grunge, known as
Capt. Kangagrunge ( that is stupid, but I'm knot purrfect)
Take your two week old Latka's and give them to The Army in Irac( not to be related to the song, "Irac all the way home". Destroy all your 3 Musketeer bars and four in hand ties. Cut up all your KY and KGB cards. Seek and destroy all of Glayds Knight's Pips and membership in the private club "Pips"
Purge all Burger King wrappers, but not Snoop Dog, along with audition tapes from "the Young And
The Restless, which show clips of David Hassellhoff, Lindsay Low-han, Kiefer Southerland, Brittney
Spears, Forrest Tucker, Marjorie Lord, Marjorie Main, Mr. Wizzard and Bob Clampett, before they
became stars. Keep the clibs from Ira the Moyle.
NOW WE HAVE COME (AND ARE MORE RELAXED) TO THE EXITING
PART OF OUR PROGRAM. THE BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS FOR 2009
THIS IS A GOOD TIME FOR A BATHROOM BREAK AND TO PUT YOUR KIDS
TO SLEEP, OR SEND THEM TO SIT & SLEEP. ITZ FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
FIRST CATAGORY-ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS
1. THE 14 WOMAN OF THE HIT T.V. SHOW, "HEIDI FLEISS AIN'T TOO WISE" ALL OF THESE
WONDERFUL LADIES, OF THE EVENING, HAVE NOTCH'S ON TIGER WOOD'S PUTTER.
THEY WILL AND HAVE "GONE DOWN" IN THE ANALS OF SPORTS ILL-ISTRATED OPEN
FOURUM OF SLEEZY. ( NOT ONE OF SNOE WHITE'S DWARFS)
I UNDERSTAND THAT EACH OF THE 14, WILL AUDITION FOR THE NEW VERSION OF
"THE PRICE IS RIGHT"
2. THE NEW SYLVESTER STALLONE MOVIE, "THE EXPENDABLES"( ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT WAIST SIZE'S) SLY'S CO-STARS WILL BE, DOLPH LUNDGREN, REIC ROBERTS,
WILFRED BRIMLEY, JETT LEE, DICK VAN DYKE, MEREDETH BAXTER, MARJORIE LORD, MARJORIE MAIN, JON CLAUDE VAN DAMN, VICTOR JORY, REGIS PILLBAN, MICKEY
ROONEY( YES HE IS STILL ALIVE, AT 114YRS.OLD) SABU, RUSS TAMBLYN, NANCY CULP,
NANCY'S BROTHER, ROBERT CULP, MANTAN MORELAND,BURL IVES, DAVID LADD,
JOSE GRECCO,BUDDY GRECCO,HELEN GRACCO, ANN HATHAWAY( THE DAUGHTER OF
"THEY WENT THATAWAY".
CAMEO'S WILL BE, ALEX TREBEC, MORRY THE DELI MAN, NANCY QUAN, POLLY BERGIN, NANCY META, ERNEST BORGNINE, POLLY ADLER, PHILO VANCE, MR. T,
STACY LONDON, A FAVORITE OF MINE, DR. OZ AND HIS FATHER, WIZARD.
PLUS BETTY WHITE AND ROGER MOORE, AS STAR CROSSED LOVERS.
PART OF THE BUDGET WILL BE THE MAKERS OF "GERITOL" AND DONALD TRUMP'S
ALIMONY FUND, VESTED AND FUTURE.
3.JAMES CAMERON, AS THE GENIUS OF THE DECADE. THE MAN WITH SUCH VISION,
THAT HE HAS PREDICTED THAT SARA PALLIN, WILL STAR IN THE REMAKE OF THE FILM
"THE MOUTH THAT ROARD"
4. TO ANJOYLIE JOLIE, FOR BUYING UP THE RIGHTS, TO THE LIFE OF MS. SOUL-EE-MAN
ENTITLED, "I REQUESTED A WIDE BIRTH, BUT NOT IN PURPIDTWOITY"
INTERMISSION, BUT NOT A POSITION.
POLITICK AWARDS
1. SEN. ROBERT BYRD, THE MAN WHO PROVES THAT PERSONALITY AND CONGRESS
ARE NOT RELATED.
2.SEN. CHANEY, THE BLACKSHEEP OF THE LAWN CHANEY DYNASTY. COMPARE HIM
TO CHEVY CHASE ON "SATURDAY NITE LIVE" AUNTICS.
3. MS. NANCY PELOSSIE, A COMBINATION OF BEAUTY, WIT,CHARM AND THE ONLY
PERSON IN GOVERNMENT, WHO COULD FLIP YOU THE "BYRD", WITHOUT MOVING
HER HAND.
5. SARA PALLIN, YES AGAIN, WHO SHOULD NOT GO HUNTING WITH SEN. CHANEY, OR
MAYBE SHE SHOULD.
6. THE FORMER GOV. OF ILL., YOU KNOW THE GUY WITH HIS HAIR OVER HIS EYES,
AS OPPOSED TO THE WOOL OVER HIS EYES, I WILL TRY TO NAME THIS MODERN
"ISHKABIBBLE" RON BRADORIVITCHITCH.
THE SPORTS WORLD AWARDS. IN ALL HUMILITY, THESE PEOPLE THINK THE PHRASE
"BATTERS UP" IS A DESCRIPTION, NOT A SPORT'S TACTIC.
NUMERO UNO, OF COURSE ,GOES TO THE FORMER IDOL OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE,
THE MAN THAT "GOOD HOUSEKEEPING" PICKED AS THE MAN TO LOOK UP TO,
BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE A "FREE AGENT", WITH A MONTHLY INCOME( NOW, THAT'S
A FUNNY WAY OF PUTTING IT) THE WINNER, WHO IS NOW THE BIGGEST LOOSER'
IS TIGER WOODS( WHO SHOULD OF BEEN A MORMON)
I DON'T WANT TO KICK A MAN THAT IS DOWN, BUT WHAT WAS HE THINKING?
ITZ KIND OF LIKE CHINESE FOOD, AFTER AN HOUR, YOU WANT SOME MORE,MORE
AND MORE. ANYONE WHO LEAVES VOICE MASSAGES FOR HIS DESSERTS,
REALLY HAS A LOOSE SCREW. IN TIGER'S CASE(S), HE WAS ONLY AFTER
A TIGHT SCREW. WHERE WERE HIS POSSY"THE CORRECT SPELLING" OF HIS
HANDLERS, WHO SHOULD OF PROTECTED HIS GOODY TWO SHOES IMAGE?
THEY SAW WHAT HE WAS "UP TWO"(OR DOWN TWO) AND USED A LITTLE BRAIN
POWER, TO USE THE PROPER VENUE TO PLEASE HIS STROKES,
WHAT TIGER NEEDED WAS A COL. PARKER, NOT PVT. RUMP-FREE.
2. TO ALEX ROD(NOW THAT'S FUNNY)RIGUEZ, FOR SHOWING HOW TO SLIDE INTO
A HOME RUN. HE HAS SHOWED GREAT STAMINA IN TRADING IN AN OLDER MODEL BLONDE, INTO A YOUNGER ONE. I GUESS HE THOUGHT HE WAS A GREAT PILOT,
BECAUSE HE ALSO LANDED IN THE HUDSON.
3. TO KOBE, FOR LEARNING THE SONG, "DIAMONDS AND A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER, ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.
SO THAT'S IT, THE 2009 BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS ANNOUNCEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE.
I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HARVEY LEVIN(OR UNLEVIN) CAN KEEP HIS
TMZ, I HAVE MY AZA. OH YEAH, BEFOUR I SIGN OFF, FOR TONIGHT, I HEAR THAT
TROJAN CO., MAY HAVE TIGER WOODS, AS THEIR SPOKESMAN, FOR 2010.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
"COMING SOON", NO NOT "TIGER", THE BIGGEST AND BADASS BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS. FROM ANALS OF ENTERTAINMENT, POLITICKS, HI-PROFILE SCHMUCKS AND WHOMEVER HAS CREATED HAVOC TO THE HUMAN RACE.
LOOK OUT, IT IS BEING HATCHED AND WILL NOT BE SEEN IN 3D.
SHIELD YOUR CHILDREN, MUZZLE YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW AND WONDER WHAT'S
UP, WITH HUGH HEFFNER! THIS WILL BE REVEALED, FASTER THAN OPRAH AND GALE
WILL BE NAMED "GO" I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER AND AM GETTING MY SHOTS
BEFORE THE" BLOG-MITZFA" AWARDS FOUR 2009 IS ENDED OR REAR-ENDED.
SAY GOODNITE GRACIE!
SHIELD YOUR CHILDREN, MUZZLE YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW AND WONDER WHAT'S
UP, WITH HUGH HEFFNER! THIS WILL BE REVEALED, FASTER THAN OPRAH AND GALE
WILL BE NAMED "GO" I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER AND AM GETTING MY SHOTS
BEFORE THE" BLOG-MITZFA" AWARDS FOUR 2009 IS ENDED OR REAR-ENDED.
SAY GOODNITE GRACIE!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
WORLD'S LARGEST DATING SITE, "DOLLY MADISON" HIRE'S NEW PITCHMAN, TIGER WOODS, TO FIVE YEAR CONTRACT FOR ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR, OF A FIVE YEAR CONTRACT!
TIGER IS NOW BIGGER THAN DAVID BECKHAM. JUST ASK HANES. THIS IS A VIS-YOU-AL
THING ( DON'Y ASK ME ABOUT MY "THING") TIGER BABY'S NEW SPON-SORE IS
THE DOLLY MADISON DATING SIGHT. IT IS RUMORED, THAT "THE WOODS-MAN"
WILL ALSO GET A "PEACE" OF THE ACTION.
DOLLY MADISON AND TIGER BABY ARE A PERFECT MATCH. KINDA LIKE JOHN
F( KNOW WHAT THE "F" STANDS FOUR?) KENNEDY AND THE "HOLLY-WOOD"
HALL OF FAME. TMZ SAYS JFK, HAS HAD MOST OF HOOLY-WOOD BLVD. AND
VINE ST., BETWEEN SUNSET AND HOLLYWIERD BLVD. I, ALSO HEAR A GOOD PIECE
OF "FRANK SINATRA BLVD., IN PALM SPRINGS, ASS WELL.
I AM NOT A GOLF INFORMED PERSON, BUT HAS "WOOD-SEE", EVER WON THE MASTER'S? I KNOW HE CERTAINLY HAS WON THE "MISTESS'S" AWARD. HE IS
NOW CALLED A "MOTHER-PUTTER" I ALSO HEAR THAT THE "SMITHSONIAN" HAS
REQUESTED "TIGER'S PUTTER" IT WILL LIE NEXT TO THE "LINCOLN LOGS" (BADA BING
BADA BANG)
OUR WITTLE TIGER HAS PUT A BID IN, TO BUY THE ELIZABETH TAYLOR ESTATE
IN BEL AIR, BECAUSE IT HAS 127 BEDROOMS. HIS PURCHASE WILL TAKE AFFECT
ON FEB. 14TH. ( THINK 'BOUT IT) HE HAS PUT DOWN ( CUTE PHRASE) 33MILLION,
ON A "LAY"-AWAY PLAN. THE TOTAL PRICE IS 169 MILLION DOLLARS
THE HOLLYWOOD VARIETY( NOW THAT'S FUNNY, THINK IT OVER, OR UNDER) HAS
REPORTED THAT TIGER WILL TRY AND SIR-PASS, MCDONALD'S CLAIM OF OVER
2 BILLION SERVED/SERVICED.
CHINA, BULL-GARIA, ROMANIA,THE GAZA STRIP CLUB, FRANCE AND PAYGO,PAYGO
WILL EXPORT ALL OF THEIR WOMEN TO":TIGERLAND ", WHICH WILL NOW BE NAMED
"THE HAPPYEST PLACE ON EARTH" SORRY ABOUT THAT MR. DISNEY.
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, HAS REPORTED THAT TIGER'S WISH LIST IS NOW LONGER
THAN "WAR&PIECE"
SO THAT'S ABOUT IT AND I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER. THE EDITORS OF
SPORTSMEN ILLUSTRATED, HAVE REPORTED THAT TIGER IS NOW NUMBER WON,
FOR HAVING USED THE MOST USED "BALLS" IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS.
THING ( DON'Y ASK ME ABOUT MY "THING") TIGER BABY'S NEW SPON-SORE IS
THE DOLLY MADISON DATING SIGHT. IT IS RUMORED, THAT "THE WOODS-MAN"
WILL ALSO GET A "PEACE" OF THE ACTION.
DOLLY MADISON AND TIGER BABY ARE A PERFECT MATCH. KINDA LIKE JOHN
F( KNOW WHAT THE "F" STANDS FOUR?) KENNEDY AND THE "HOLLY-WOOD"
HALL OF FAME. TMZ SAYS JFK, HAS HAD MOST OF HOOLY-WOOD BLVD. AND
VINE ST., BETWEEN SUNSET AND HOLLYWIERD BLVD. I, ALSO HEAR A GOOD PIECE
OF "FRANK SINATRA BLVD., IN PALM SPRINGS, ASS WELL.
I AM NOT A GOLF INFORMED PERSON, BUT HAS "WOOD-SEE", EVER WON THE MASTER'S? I KNOW HE CERTAINLY HAS WON THE "MISTESS'S" AWARD. HE IS
NOW CALLED A "MOTHER-PUTTER" I ALSO HEAR THAT THE "SMITHSONIAN" HAS
REQUESTED "TIGER'S PUTTER" IT WILL LIE NEXT TO THE "LINCOLN LOGS" (BADA BING
BADA BANG)
OUR WITTLE TIGER HAS PUT A BID IN, TO BUY THE ELIZABETH TAYLOR ESTATE
IN BEL AIR, BECAUSE IT HAS 127 BEDROOMS. HIS PURCHASE WILL TAKE AFFECT
ON FEB. 14TH. ( THINK 'BOUT IT) HE HAS PUT DOWN ( CUTE PHRASE) 33MILLION,
ON A "LAY"-AWAY PLAN. THE TOTAL PRICE IS 169 MILLION DOLLARS
THE HOLLYWOOD VARIETY( NOW THAT'S FUNNY, THINK IT OVER, OR UNDER) HAS
REPORTED THAT TIGER WILL TRY AND SIR-PASS, MCDONALD'S CLAIM OF OVER
2 BILLION SERVED/SERVICED.
CHINA, BULL-GARIA, ROMANIA,THE GAZA STRIP CLUB, FRANCE AND PAYGO,PAYGO
WILL EXPORT ALL OF THEIR WOMEN TO":TIGERLAND ", WHICH WILL NOW BE NAMED
"THE HAPPYEST PLACE ON EARTH" SORRY ABOUT THAT MR. DISNEY.
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, HAS REPORTED THAT TIGER'S WISH LIST IS NOW LONGER
THAN "WAR&PIECE"
SO THAT'S ABOUT IT AND I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER. THE EDITORS OF
SPORTSMEN ILLUSTRATED, HAVE REPORTED THAT TIGER IS NOW NUMBER WON,
FOR HAVING USED THE MOST USED "BALLS" IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
"TIGERGATE" TAKES THE WORLD BY STORM! MAKES "WATERGATE" SEEM LIKE A DRIBLE ON SANTA MONICA. AS WE SAY IN LAW, THIS IS A REAL "BILL OF LAY-DING"
There is wide-spread ( good choice of words) reaction to Tiger's Wood-s Rampid bid to be the
new men's version of Anna Nicool Smith's legacy( or should I say "Leg's Up C?") and the modern
man's James Mason. Letta me splain this, when Pamela Mason hired Marvin Mitchelson, ass her
Divorce Atty., Marvin supeenned 50 women, who were laid to rest by Mason. When all 50, were
seated in front of the Courtroom, James Mason quickly settled with Pamela.
Now in Wittle Woodsy's matter, who needs these women in a Court Room? They are all over
or under the news Media. Itz kinda like Vanna White, spinning the wheel, to see who is next in line,
to give vivid de-TAILS, of Tiger's Hole In One.
NEWS FLASH! KEL-LOG'S CORN FLAKES, HAS JUST FIRED TONY THE TIGER!
It seems because of Tony's ancestory, Tiger's are no longer welcome to all the corn flakers.
The ACLU, has filed a Billion Dollar Lawsuit, on behalf of Tony against Kellog's, based upon
civil right's violation's, for discrimination based upon Tony's background.
, OTHER FALL OUT NEWS!
1. The Zebra World Organization has authorized their black stripes, to be dyed Orange, in protest.
2. The Barber's of Seville have changed their outside poles, to include an Orange Stripe. Saville Road,
has also has stated that all custom made shirts, will have a Bengale Tiger Stripe on them
3. The Assoceans of Global Convicts, Inc., has told their supplier of uniforms, General Mills, the most
decorated soldier from the Fire Island Malay, to make all uniforms with Orange Stripes, instead of Black.
4. The BROAD-WAY( there is a pun in there) Musical, written by Steven Sonheim, has been given
the new Title of "Into The Tiger Woods"
5. The International Errol Flynn fanclub, has nominated Tiger Woods, as their Hero of 2009. Their new
slogan for 2010, will be changed from, "In Like Flynn, to "In Like Woods" What a wonderful gesture and
all proceeds they recieve, will go to all the women/strippers/bar floozies/ladies of the evening/hungary vipers
from Trashy Longerie and all needy little money grubbing, life suck-ing vampires and probably every SAG
Member who has attained the age of 27-92 and who's only work has been as models for "Sit & Sleep"
come-ercials.
6. The Dinah Sore Golf Ladies(?) will be sponsored by Tiger's Milk. I'm pretty sure, most have not tasted it.
7. The reincardation of the old T.V. show, "To Tail The Truth" will knot include Tiger Woods, as a
panel member,.
8. Gatoraid, will no longer be sold in West Holly-Wood. ( read b/t the sheets)
9. Buick, who's slogan was "Put One In Each Home" will drop Tigert. It seems that Tiger has already
started to "Put 1" in every home, butt it ain't a BUICk.
10. Nike, has the BALLS, to keep Tiger ass their spokesman. The Webster family, has decided to
change the pronunciation of the word "LIKE", in their dick-onarry, to now be pronounced "LIKE_EE"
Well as you all know, my name is Marshall Bitkower and I hear that Tiger Woods has started on a long
road trip. Itz more like a Guilt Trip.
new men's version of Anna Nicool Smith's legacy( or should I say "Leg's Up C?") and the modern
man's James Mason. Letta me splain this, when Pamela Mason hired Marvin Mitchelson, ass her
Divorce Atty., Marvin supeenned 50 women, who were laid to rest by Mason. When all 50, were
seated in front of the Courtroom, James Mason quickly settled with Pamela.
Now in Wittle Woodsy's matter, who needs these women in a Court Room? They are all over
or under the news Media. Itz kinda like Vanna White, spinning the wheel, to see who is next in line,
to give vivid de-TAILS, of Tiger's Hole In One.
NEWS FLASH! KEL-LOG'S CORN FLAKES, HAS JUST FIRED TONY THE TIGER!
It seems because of Tony's ancestory, Tiger's are no longer welcome to all the corn flakers.
The ACLU, has filed a Billion Dollar Lawsuit, on behalf of Tony against Kellog's, based upon
civil right's violation's, for discrimination based upon Tony's background.
, OTHER FALL OUT NEWS!
1. The Zebra World Organization has authorized their black stripes, to be dyed Orange, in protest.
2. The Barber's of Seville have changed their outside poles, to include an Orange Stripe. Saville Road,
has also has stated that all custom made shirts, will have a Bengale Tiger Stripe on them
3. The Assoceans of Global Convicts, Inc., has told their supplier of uniforms, General Mills, the most
decorated soldier from the Fire Island Malay, to make all uniforms with Orange Stripes, instead of Black.
4. The BROAD-WAY( there is a pun in there) Musical, written by Steven Sonheim, has been given
the new Title of "Into The Tiger Woods"
5. The International Errol Flynn fanclub, has nominated Tiger Woods, as their Hero of 2009. Their new
slogan for 2010, will be changed from, "In Like Flynn, to "In Like Woods" What a wonderful gesture and
all proceeds they recieve, will go to all the women/strippers/bar floozies/ladies of the evening/hungary vipers
from Trashy Longerie and all needy little money grubbing, life suck-ing vampires and probably every SAG
Member who has attained the age of 27-92 and who's only work has been as models for "Sit & Sleep"
come-ercials.
6. The Dinah Sore Golf Ladies(?) will be sponsored by Tiger's Milk. I'm pretty sure, most have not tasted it.
7. The reincardation of the old T.V. show, "To Tail The Truth" will knot include Tiger Woods, as a
panel member,.
8. Gatoraid, will no longer be sold in West Holly-Wood. ( read b/t the sheets)
9. Buick, who's slogan was "Put One In Each Home" will drop Tigert. It seems that Tiger has already
started to "Put 1" in every home, butt it ain't a BUICk.
10. Nike, has the BALLS, to keep Tiger ass their spokesman. The Webster family, has decided to
change the pronunciation of the word "LIKE", in their dick-onarry, to now be pronounced "LIKE_EE"
Well as you all know, my name is Marshall Bitkower and I hear that Tiger Woods has started on a long
road trip. Itz more like a Guilt Trip.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
"TIGER,TIGER, ON THE ROAM, SHOULD OF LEFT YOUR PUTTER AT HOME" AND STOP "SPREADING YOUR TIGER'S MILK!
Tiger Woods shoulda let his "Wood", at home, where it belongs. Butt who am I, to tail the "Sports" man
who millions of kids look up to, that a "Hole In One" is usually done on the golf course,knot the :intercourse.
I now not where his mind waz, but any who has a tisket of grey matter, knows people record voice messages and since the time of that "Old Bitch" J. E. Hoover, people can record phone calls. Juno
that J.E. Hoover, wood knot give his home address? I only knew he was a size 14Dress. Now I know
why people laugh, when they here the name "Clyde" Hoover,who learned some tricks from his vacumn
cleaner, waz nicknamed "Bonnie" Sew noe yous noe, that tese two cupcakes, were the origional
"Bonnie & Clyde"
What do you think of that Warren? You know the animal trainer, of big katz, was named "Clyde" and
that he had "Beatty", eyes.( Bada, Bing)
Now we just can't blame "Tiger" FOUR everything( say four real loud and you'll get it!) All these sleezy,
wood be famous sluts, with PR men, publishers, make up arteests and 15 minutes of fame, are really
just poor white trash, who's only thought is "spread " & suck the wealth and get some cash.
Perhaps David Decocknee, who had alot of tripple x files and went into rehab, should Intervein and
show Tiger, that he is not alone with his demons. Of course David went on to star in "Californication",
kinda like the Hair of the female dog, who bit you. You know what they call a female dog?
Well Boys and girls, my name is still Marshall Bitkower and do you why Santa Claws has no children?
It's because he only comes once a year and it"s down the Chimney . I hear Rudolph is writting his
memwars, and a cetain lady from Alaska will be a full chapter, cause she once played a chimney in a
fairy-tail.
who millions of kids look up to, that a "Hole In One" is usually done on the golf course,knot the :intercourse.
I now not where his mind waz, but any who has a tisket of grey matter, knows people record voice messages and since the time of that "Old Bitch" J. E. Hoover, people can record phone calls. Juno
that J.E. Hoover, wood knot give his home address? I only knew he was a size 14Dress. Now I know
why people laugh, when they here the name "Clyde" Hoover,who learned some tricks from his vacumn
cleaner, waz nicknamed "Bonnie" Sew noe yous noe, that tese two cupcakes, were the origional
"Bonnie & Clyde"
What do you think of that Warren? You know the animal trainer, of big katz, was named "Clyde" and
that he had "Beatty", eyes.( Bada, Bing)
Now we just can't blame "Tiger" FOUR everything( say four real loud and you'll get it!) All these sleezy,
wood be famous sluts, with PR men, publishers, make up arteests and 15 minutes of fame, are really
just poor white trash, who's only thought is "spread " & suck the wealth and get some cash.
Perhaps David Decocknee, who had alot of tripple x files and went into rehab, should Intervein and
show Tiger, that he is not alone with his demons. Of course David went on to star in "Californication",
kinda like the Hair of the female dog, who bit you. You know what they call a female dog?
Well Boys and girls, my name is still Marshall Bitkower and do you why Santa Claws has no children?
It's because he only comes once a year and it"s down the Chimney . I hear Rudolph is writting his
memwars, and a cetain lady from Alaska will be a full chapter, cause she once played a chimney in a
fairy-tail.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
"WHAT DO PILGRAMS DUE AFTER THANKSGIVING? THEY CAN'T GO TO PLYMOUTH ROCK, OR AS THEY NOW CALL IT "LEXUS" ROCK
Juno it's interesting, but why do we ownly think about them around Thanksgiving time. Do they send Pilgrimgrams to each otter? I can't believe we have know knowledge 'bout them. I suspect some pose
as Quakers and go to casting calls for the new face on "Quaker Oats" Serial.
Does(not the detergent) the United States Mint ever hold auditions for look-alikes of George Washington,
when they engrave new "Quarters?" Why doesn't Betsy Ross, who made our first flag, appear on any
coins? Did ewe know that Betsy's husband, Dr. Ross, owned the first cannery for Dog Food? (wuf,wuf)
It's probably not known, but the signatures on "The Declaration Of Independence" were written
with Cross Pens? That's why there were no Jewish signers. ( Think about it)
There is now a U.S.Mint Branch in West Hollywood. Wood you like to know what they are about
to unveil? They will be minting the first 69cent coin. It will have engraved the likeness of Elton John
and Ellen Degenerate, with the lyrics to "I Feel Pretty", underneath their skirts.
Do you think the estates of Rogers and Hammerstein, will seek royalties? I hear that the world's
greatest trial attorney, Tom Girardi will represent the estates. Julia Margulies will represent the "US MINT"
Can anybody tell me why, one of our greatest Presidents, Abraham Lincoln, is only on a penny?
Could it be that when we says, "A Penny For Your Thoughts", this reminds us of President Lincoln's
great thought process? (nothing to do with Processed Cheeze, of course) When they invented
Lincoln Logs, did Abe get a royalty? Surely(not Temple) he should of had a"Wig" or "Tourie" Atty.
to file a claim. Perhaps The Statue Of Liberty, had already lapsed. (Sorry Gloria Allwrong)
I believe the last United States President, to be on a coin, was FDR.
Perhaps corporations should put Ex Presidents on their products. I can see it now.
1.President Clinton on Cold Water Tide- The Stain Remover
2.President Bush on packages of- Dial Soap, think of the possabilities. or on Uncle Ben's Instant Rice.
3.President Reagan on McDonald's Happy Meals. By the way doesn't Ronnie look like "Howdy Doody?"
4.President Carter on a can of peanuts. Enough said!
5.Presresentment Nixon on a Plastic Sturgeons advertisement to Fix "Crooked" noses
6.President Kennedy on a package of Hollywood Hall Of Fame Footprints. Wow, what a variety.
Well Boys And Girls and their combinations, I am still Marshall Bitkower and did juno that both Danny
DeVito and Joe Pesci, were former hair stylists? Their specialty was "Short Cuts" ( Bada Bing)
as Quakers and go to casting calls for the new face on "Quaker Oats" Serial.
Does(not the detergent) the United States Mint ever hold auditions for look-alikes of George Washington,
when they engrave new "Quarters?" Why doesn't Betsy Ross, who made our first flag, appear on any
coins? Did ewe know that Betsy's husband, Dr. Ross, owned the first cannery for Dog Food? (wuf,wuf)
It's probably not known, but the signatures on "The Declaration Of Independence" were written
with Cross Pens? That's why there were no Jewish signers. ( Think about it)
There is now a U.S.Mint Branch in West Hollywood. Wood you like to know what they are about
to unveil? They will be minting the first 69cent coin. It will have engraved the likeness of Elton John
and Ellen Degenerate, with the lyrics to "I Feel Pretty", underneath their skirts.
Do you think the estates of Rogers and Hammerstein, will seek royalties? I hear that the world's
greatest trial attorney, Tom Girardi will represent the estates. Julia Margulies will represent the "US MINT"
Can anybody tell me why, one of our greatest Presidents, Abraham Lincoln, is only on a penny?
Could it be that when we says, "A Penny For Your Thoughts", this reminds us of President Lincoln's
great thought process? (nothing to do with Processed Cheeze, of course) When they invented
Lincoln Logs, did Abe get a royalty? Surely(not Temple) he should of had a"Wig" or "Tourie" Atty.
to file a claim. Perhaps The Statue Of Liberty, had already lapsed. (Sorry Gloria Allwrong)
I believe the last United States President, to be on a coin, was FDR.
Perhaps corporations should put Ex Presidents on their products. I can see it now.
1.President Clinton on Cold Water Tide- The Stain Remover
2.President Bush on packages of- Dial Soap, think of the possabilities. or on Uncle Ben's Instant Rice.
3.President Reagan on McDonald's Happy Meals. By the way doesn't Ronnie look like "Howdy Doody?"
4.President Carter on a can of peanuts. Enough said!
5.Presresentment Nixon on a Plastic Sturgeons advertisement to Fix "Crooked" noses
6.President Kennedy on a package of Hollywood Hall Of Fame Footprints. Wow, what a variety.
Well Boys And Girls and their combinations, I am still Marshall Bitkower and did juno that both Danny
DeVito and Joe Pesci, were former hair stylists? Their specialty was "Short Cuts" ( Bada Bing)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
DON'T TELL THE FIRST LADY OR MICHELLE, BUTT FOR CHRISTMAS, SHE WILL RECIEVE OBOMBA'S " STIMULOUS PKG"
Yes itz that time again in Washington D & C, for all Politicians, including their girlfriends or boyfriends (or both), plus their spouses, to start singing "Jingle Balls" That is because the only
bells you hear in Vashington, are when you want your waiter,cook,made(Can you dig it?),etc
to come to your table or undertable and bring their "Goodies"
In fact, or knot in fact, these "Goodies" have never been "Oldies" Ask Dr. Oz, about this,
when he gets back from "The Emerald City" By the way, does Dorothy still have a little
Totetow?
Kelsey Grammar, is Back in the Saddle, again. Kelsey, isn't that a "tissue?" will be returning
to playing a psychiatryst, in the New Series, "Dr. Crane, Beverly Hills Shrink, to the Bitch and
Famous. His co-star will be, Jennifer Tilly, who will be his Sweet-mate, Dr. Upity. You've seen
her in many movies, some that were even commercial.
You've heard the phrase, everything old is new, again? Well AARP Films (not x-rays)
will be producing a series for HBO, about senior action stars, who come back from
Rumania, Asia,Bulgaria,Italy,Hugoslavia , Rehab. and Northridge. These Geritol Giants
include Steven Segall, Jean Claude Van Damp, Westlee Snipes, B.B. King and Betty White.
The Executive Producers are Sty Stalone and Judge Judy. You may not know this butt,
Judge Judy was once Miss Yonkers, in the Ms. America Contest. She placed Fifth, in the
"Amendments"
Well thatz how I see it and for all of yous that remember, "The Green Hornet" is still a virgin.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
LET IT ALL OUT, OLD TABOOZE ARE GONE AND WHAT EWE GOT, AIN'T ENOUGH, GET IT LONGER,BIGGER,WIDER AND LASTS LONGER.
PLAYTEX ( as where the "Bush" is now) now has women on T.V., saying she likes to keep
her "Two Puppies" happy. I've tried to do that four years. I won't "milk" it, so that's enough
to say, on that subject ( and I like being on that subject) With those co mercials running, I
now know why they call it , "The Boob Tube".
When I was a wittle bitty baby and my mama would rock me in a craddle, I assumed that
"Tampoons", were wen a giant title-wave, rushed onto land, from the sea. I believe it gave
birth to a male and it was called a "sea son"
Victoria Secret, which she will nevar admit, is making Bra"s, witch will boost the "Puppies"
to two cups larger. When will men's underwhere, do the same thing? I understand that
you must wash them in "Hard" water. (bada-bing, which ain't no Crosby)
Top women's jeans, will now include built in pouch's, to store sanitary napkins.
Male enhancements are flooding the market. Viagra, those cute little blue pills, can now
make you a "stand-up" guy, for real. Ciealos, not the singer from La Scala, "comes" in two
varieties. One will last for a few hours and one will last 72 hours. They advertize that when
the time is right, to me the time was always right
The disclaymer on the package ( a "Fraudian Slip", if I ever heard one) states, "if you have
an errection over 4hrs., you should call your doctor. "For what", to thank him?
K-Y Jelley, now is made for a man and a woman.( what do same sex people use?)
I don't want to "rub" you the wrong way, butt do you get "Man Boobs" from men using
women(s)?
Yesturday, I saw a spot( ha, ha) for "The Mini Vibrator" Is that what "Austin Powers" uses?
I'm laying in wait, for the "regular" or "King Size", to "come" out. Woodn't you?
One day, there will be "Depends" in every Starbucks, Coffee Bean and Bus bench's
throughout the free world. Other countries may have a "yourining" to have them,
butt those countries are too busy reading "Vana Whites" biography, "Vowel Movement"
My name is Marshall Bitkower and this is my opinion and "Traffic Ticket Attornies", are
knot pursued by the DEA.
her "Two Puppies" happy. I've tried to do that four years. I won't "milk" it, so that's enough
to say, on that subject ( and I like being on that subject) With those co mercials running, I
now know why they call it , "The Boob Tube".
When I was a wittle bitty baby and my mama would rock me in a craddle, I assumed that
"Tampoons", were wen a giant title-wave, rushed onto land, from the sea. I believe it gave
birth to a male and it was called a "sea son"
Victoria Secret, which she will nevar admit, is making Bra"s, witch will boost the "Puppies"
to two cups larger. When will men's underwhere, do the same thing? I understand that
you must wash them in "Hard" water. (bada-bing, which ain't no Crosby)
Top women's jeans, will now include built in pouch's, to store sanitary napkins.
Male enhancements are flooding the market. Viagra, those cute little blue pills, can now
make you a "stand-up" guy, for real. Ciealos, not the singer from La Scala, "comes" in two
varieties. One will last for a few hours and one will last 72 hours. They advertize that when
the time is right, to me the time was always right
The disclaymer on the package ( a "Fraudian Slip", if I ever heard one) states, "if you have
an errection over 4hrs., you should call your doctor. "For what", to thank him?
K-Y Jelley, now is made for a man and a woman.( what do same sex people use?)
I don't want to "rub" you the wrong way, butt do you get "Man Boobs" from men using
women(s)?
Yesturday, I saw a spot( ha, ha) for "The Mini Vibrator" Is that what "Austin Powers" uses?
I'm laying in wait, for the "regular" or "King Size", to "come" out. Woodn't you?
One day, there will be "Depends" in every Starbucks, Coffee Bean and Bus bench's
throughout the free world. Other countries may have a "yourining" to have them,
butt those countries are too busy reading "Vana Whites" biography, "Vowel Movement"
My name is Marshall Bitkower and this is my opinion and "Traffic Ticket Attornies", are
knot pursued by the DEA.
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