THE UNITED STATES COAST GUARD NEEDS "RIGHT GUARD" AND LEROY JETHRO GIBBS

WALTER WINCHELL WOULD START HIS RADIO BROADCAST BY SAYING, "GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
AND ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA" Well today, a day that will live in infamy, The United States Coast Guard Vessels in the Potomac
River, should of been religated to Davy Jone's Locker. What ever IQ reject that planned a "Training Day" on 9/11, should be made
to wear "Training Bra's" for the reminder of his or her service time.

Today was a day to remember the Tragedy that fell on America on 9/11. Whoever created today's fiasco should be made to "walk the plank"
at the Tip of "Jack Spratt's Sword" I understand that the "Intelligent Community" ( a real Oxy-Moron) who are there supposed to share
"intelligence" don't like to share. Perhaps they should be sent back to kindagarten and learn the principle of sharring. Could it be that these
people who monitar the intelligence and safety of American's, got their education from a mail order catalog?

Is it possable that these Titon's of Sesame St., decided to add "non" in front of "sense?" When the names of these Mongoloids is revealed
they should be made to go hunting with "Dick" Cheney, for ninety days.

This week was full of "Ninkapoops" First we had Congressman Joe Wilson and his big fat fart mouth, who said "What A Lie" during The
President's Speech. That mouth should be sanatized and hung in Miss Kitty's Saloon ( if you do not remember Ms. Kitty, then ask someone)

Calif. Rep. Mike Duvall, the recipient of a "family and ethics award",who thought he was a "Hot Mike" was caught talking on a " Hot Mike-Raphone"
about a two female conquests and what he did with them. His modis operandi was spanking their young wittle tushies.
When confronted or conbackin, ( Think about it), "HOT MIKE" Said he was only joking. He ended his remarks by saying "Spank You"

But inspite of these two "Twerps" The head "SCHMUCK" or "SCHMUCKTRESS" of The Coast Guard, who was in command of this action
should be left to Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs of N.C.I.S, for investigation. When they are caught, Gibbs should slap them on their heads
with a 4x4, instead of his hands. Furthermore they should covered from head to toe in honey and put in solidary confinement, along with
a swarm of bees and hornets.

I still am Marshall Bitkower and that is my opinion. I also understand that once these varmits are released, they will join Saturday Night Live.

THE "UNSUNG HEROES OF MEMORIAL DAY

EVERY MEMORIAL DAY WE REFLECT ON AMERICA'S HEROES. But what about the "Unsung Heroes" we never hear about?

My Grandmother Goldie,from Russia, had 14 children, only 9 survived. My Grandmother Frieda,from Poland,
also had 14 children and 9 survived. Both of my grandparents came to The United States, worked hard, only spoke
Yiddish, but they managed to feed, clothed and had a roof over their heads, without any Govermental help.
How did they do it, I don't know, unless working eighteen hours a day, without a phone, a car, a television, a refrigerator,
or shopping at Gelson's.

My dear friend, George, picked a "how to book" on computers and soon sold a "Program" to The United States Navy.
Not bad for a kid from East Los Angeles. George, now is a well respected business man and nobody handed him
a "silver" plate.

Irving Berlin was an immigrant, who spoke no English, when he arrived and saw the Statue Of Liberty.
He went on to write the songs that will forever remain in our Hearts and Soul. Mr. Berlin wrote "God Bless America"
and donated all royalties to The Boy Scouts Of America. Which one of our Rock Bands, Super Star actors, singers,and Computer Mavens
has donated any one of their "Mega Bucks" royalties to any institutions for the betterment of mankind?

These Giants of survival should be an insperation to all Americans. This is only a few of the"Unsung Heroes", who indeed
are "MEMORIAL"

I wish you and yours a Happy Memorial Day. My name is Marshall Bitkower and as Mr. Rolex once said "Only Time Will Tell.
And "Good Night" Mrs. Calabash", wherever you are.

ALL "STARS" ARE NOT "SHOOTING STARS"

I AM GETTING TIRED OF READING ABOUT STARS THAT ARE "DOPES". WHAT HAPPENED TO STARS
WHO ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR BODY'S ( NEW BODY'S,MOSTLY) OF WORK?

Where are the "Ozzie ( was he from the "Emerald City?) and Harriet's of today? Could it be that Ozzie's past has finally
been revealed? I remember Ozzie never worked. He spent alot of time with "Thorney". You know if you take away his first letter(T),
his name would of been "Horney". both Ozzie and Mr. "T" would spend alot of time at a "Malt Shop" When was the last time two "Buds"
would spend time at a "Malt Shop?" Was it because High School Adonis's would also spend time there? We never saw "Thorney's wife.
Was it because he did not have a wife? The series character,"Doc" would meet these two, also at the Malt Shop. What was "DOC" a Doc of?

The three bro's of "Bonanza" bunked together. We never saw what kind of "Bunk's" they slept in. Did you ever wonder why one brother
was nick named "Little Joe" What the hell is a "Hoss" That was one brother's name. I don't remember the name of Pernel Roberts character.
I only know he thought the part he played was beneath him ( anything else underneath him?) Pernel ( what the hell is a "Pernel?) Isn't that
the charge you get from a manicurest? When he left the" Ponderossa", he was replaced by an actor who was named "Canary". Need I say more?

The father of these boys, was played by Lorne Green. With his great baritone voice, we knew he was all man.

The "Brady Bunch" had a secret. The father was played by a known homosexual actor. Perhaps he should of played Mrs. Brady.
Who did this remarkable casting, Vincent Price? Yes the famous whorer movie star. He starred in "The House Of Wax" maybe
it should of been called "The House Of Waxing" Now you know why it was "shot" in 3D. Things "POPPED OUT" in 3D.

The Disney Series, The Hard-ee boys, starred one actor who became a "Drag Queen" I won't mention his name, butt he was related
to Captain Kirk. This "Kirk" was straight, butt not the "Hard-ee Boy " Kirk.

Lassie was one of my favorite stars. Did you know that" Lassie" was really a "male" dog, who played the part of the "Bitch" on his/her show.
Lassie probably was the first Television Star, who went into "Theraphy" Wouldn't you, if you were a man acting like a woman?

OK, that's my opinion of Television History, as they say "Hollywood Is Where Stars Are "Made" I'm still Marshall Bitkower and if
there was an "Aunt Jamima" was there "An Uncle Jimima?"

FOPA IN PREVIOUS BLOG, I SCREWEDUP. YES ME!

THE TIDBIT about "Buster Brown" should of ended, after animal rights-junkie would pickett his house.


I am as always, Marshall Bitkower and those who are without mistakes are nobodies in the real world.

REMEMBER DINAH SHORE,HOPPALONG CASSIDY AND CHICITA BANANA?

"WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE?" When i was eight years old, i could walk one mile to a movie theatre and not
worry someone would a-costing me, hurt me or be involved in a drive by shooting. it was a simple way of life and my parents didn't
take a "handful of pills" to get through the day. The only "drive by" we had was the "HELM"S BAKERY MAN", throughing cookies
at us, not 38 calibar bullets or Molitoff cocktails. The only coctails I remember were "Prune Juice Cocktails" which resulted in running
a mile in 3seconds to get to the bathroom.

My parents would watch DINAH SHORE, who would sing "See The USA In your CHEVROLET". She would then throw a kiss.
When was the last time anyone sang about a car? We only hear "Come Fly With ME", by the GREEDY X-ecutives who get into
their "Lear Jets" and go to our Government and beg for "Bail Out" money. What these "poor me" guys should of done was to
"Bail Out" of their Jets, without a "Golden Parachute" That would take them to"ground zero"

People would sing about their "Merry Oldsmobile" and their girlfriend, Lucille. The only thing "Merry" today, are the men who
go through the woods in tights and feathers in their hats. that follow a guy named "Robin Hood" The only "Hood" we have today
is the "Interment" camps in South Los Angeles.

Remember the song, "It's delightful, It's delicious, It's DE SOTO?" We are a nation who were proud of our automomiles, now we seem
ashamed to buy anything made in America. Remember Milton Berle's Texaco Singing Men, who came out and sang a song, as they filled
your gas tank and wiped your windows? Today if someone did that, we would have them arrested and held 72hrs., for a Psyc. examination.

Hoppalong Cassidy would save the "school marm"(whatever that was) and put the "bad guys or varmits" into a jail, without some one
yelling about whether or not they had a right to remain silent. I remember when "Buster Brown" had a dog in his shoe and no "animal rights"

The slogan "Nobody Doesn't Like Sarah Lee" was a falsity, "Arteries" don't like Sarah Lee, nor do Cardiologists.
People would hear "Get DR. Ross Dogfood, do your self a favor" Shouldn't the favor be for your cute,little dog, not your self?

The "Mitchum Deodorant", had a man in a bed, who would say, "I didn't use Mitchum today and I may not tomorrow"
Ever notice no one was in the bed with him, when he said that" He probably stayed in bed for two days, while he watched "Law & Odor"

Ever notice that "Chichita Banana" who had a great singing and dancing career, is no longer on t.v.?
The networks probably think she is too old, to attract the proper demographics of the 18-24 audience.

Where is Roy Rogers Happy Trails today? Is it only when there are five years in the can of your t.v. series
that you can have "Happy Trails?"

I am still Marshall Bitkower, former Deputy District Attorney, Los Angeles County, former Deputy City Attorney,City of Los Angeles,
Criminal Division and X-Husband, World Wide.

junkie would pickett his house.

""

"MOYLE HEIGHTS" OR "BOIL HEIGHT" AS IT ONCE WAS CALLED.

We all have heard of "Boyle Heights" in East Los Angeles, but the first name to that area was "Moyle Hts." or as some people called it
"Boiled Hts" This area was first established by the immigration of Jewish people, who came here from Russia, Poland and Germany.
This was because of the Anti Semitism in Europe fueled by that "Little Nebush" Toush-Hole", who called himself, The Charley Chaplin
look a like. Charley Chaplin was a "Genius", Hitler had no genes, since he was born under a rock, left by a herd of cow dung.

You might ask what does "Moyle Hts. mean? A Moyle is the person who preforms a "circomesion" on an infant's penus ( or a "wee-wee"),
usually a boy ( or also called a "boychick", but not on a boy who thinks he is chick. Those are called "faggula's") and are derived from great
musical composers like Who Did They Find On Franz list? A Moyle has no Medical Training, but has served as a student at the Benny Hana
Academy of slice or dice. In the 30's and 40's, there were Moyle Stands on every corner in this area. Some even had a two for one coupon,
which were donated by the Gelson Brothers. Some even had discounts if their "Equipment" was not sharpened ( ouch! ouch! ouch!)

You may not know this historic fact, but The Pep Boys, Manny,Moe and Jack invented the first traveling Moyle Mobile.
Many Up and Comers in Show Business were "IM-Moyleized" from this East Los Angeles community. Their were "Designer Moyles"
who did special cuts. They had different styles such as "The Lew Wasserman Cut. At the "End of this design, boys would grow up, wear black suits
and "Errect" tall buildings in Universal City. Many Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeons got their start by being a "Moyle" The famous hair product
"BrillCream got their signature slogan, "A little dab" from Moyle Hts.

The second name for this community was called "Boiled Heights" This is because anything they ate had to be Boiled.
My Grandma, Goldie Shapiro, from Minsk, would not eat anything until it was boiled. Do you know how boiled Matza tastes?
You should be glad if you don't. The chicken had to have all parts of it boiled, except the "Toush", of course. The feet of the chicken,
not Foster Farms, would be boiled. Did you ever see boiled chicken feet? The ends would be yellow in color. Kinda like a banana with
finger nails. From a cow, she would boil a lung. Did you ever look at a lung that had been boiled? It looks like a football with a glandular
problem. Personally I prefer lung when it has been fried or bbq'ed.

My grandmother even boiled Jello. We called it "Hell-o". Chicken fat would be boiled and then placed outdoors in the sun
till it became dark and hard. That's how the first suntan lotion was created. Their were great singers in Temples or Schuls,
as they were called, which gave birth to the Greatest Deli in the world. They formed a partnership and opened "CANTORS"
Think about it.

So now you know a little of Jewish History of life, as it was like in the days of my four fathers. My mother married many times.

My name is Marshall Bitkower, a proud member of the "Bris Bragade" ( for those of you who have not touched this subject before,
a Bris is when they " Wack off " the end of a boy's penus) and have all yout relatives and friends watch the ceremony.



.

THE "COCKTAIL" IS A NEW RESTAURANT, NOT A TOM CRUISE MOVIE

This week, the new restaurant, "Cocktail" opened in "Tinsel Town"
It is owned,"operated" and managed by the "Michael Jackson Alumni Of DOCTORS ASS-OCIAN"
The " Mend You" includes a variety of colorful assorted "triple script" ingreed eints from different states.

The process of addatives was derived from a "Combination" of the PDR and the various "Donald Ducks" (QUACKS) who
have a Medical License or as James Bond would say, A License To Kill" Each "special multi colored little spices" would
add many different flavors to the "mix" and would be introduced at the favorite watering hole, "The IVY" of Hollywood Stars.

You know the famous stars who frequent this site. Such well known "Cell-a-brits as "Pluto" people from Mars" the Proctologists
from "Ur-anus", the men from "Saturn"( not car dealers) and well known "Shooting Stars"

The Mend YOU

1. The "Mickey"Fine, the television show "Alias" was "Shot here" I understand that the people behind " Entourage" also
had arrangements to come here. Some were so stupid, that they were nicknamed the "Dopes"

2. The " Arnold Klein", a dish which would have at least five different names. Each would be surrounded by different charts,
even if the dish had different names,it would be the same resulting item. Wait till "Chef Boyordee" finds out about this.

3.The "Bloody Merry" Can you "Dig It?"

4. The "Shirley Temple" no alchohol, but secret ingreed eints created by Chef Glasscom and Welcome"

5. The "Ivy Leaguer" After it's installed, you let it sit for up to three hours. This gives you time to use your cell phone,
tell people to move items from storage areas, "cook up" an overly extended CPR and hire a "Lighting Director" for your
appearence on a "You Tube" Promo for the new edition of "To Tell The Truth" Now you know why it's called "The Boob Tube"

I could "Tale" you more, but we have time, after all they got "Three to Life" to finish their "Script"

My name is Marshall Bitkower and that's my problem, knot yours.