JAMES CAMERON AND X-WIFE, KATHERINE BIGELO, FIGHT OVER "OSCAR" WHEN I GOT DIVORCED, MY X AND I FOUGHT OVER MEMBERSHIP TO THE PRIVATE CLUB, "PIPS"

Did Ja ever wonder about the stupid and trivial "crap", that people fight over?  There once waz a pvt. club
in Beverly Hills, called "Pips" It was very exclusive because it was very expensive to join  and their bylaws
stated upon a divorce, only one could keep the membership. During my lovely divorce proceedings,
where I had eight different attorneys, I sought custody of my three German Shepard Dogs and the
"Pips" card. I was awarded my dogs and was told their was a "Hit" on me, if I did not relinquish
my membership to "Pips"

Finally the great Judge, Harry Shaefer, flipped a coin and I won the Pips Membership.
Today, such a vital item would be placed on E-bay, 4 sell. Judge Shaefer would take his most
interesting divorce cases and sell them to various television networks.  I got a call one night, to watch
on television, a movie of the week, called "Divorce Wars"  I rolled over (like my dogs) laughing,
because a couple was fighting over custody of their three German Shepards. I was his-tearicle
because I was watching my divorce on NBC.

The one issue that was never fought over, was the custody of my son. My x-wife was awarded
custody and I had reasonable visitation rights. At least our insanity was never tested, for the sake
of my son.

Throughout this tormented ritual of divorce, my x only had one lawyer. Being an attorney and having
to rely on another attorney's advice, was knot something I was used to dealing with. That is why I had
eight different divorce lawyers. This included myself, who I fired because I was not doing a good job.

When I now think about the fighting over the "Pips" membership, I start to laugh over all the negative
energy involved in keeping that membership.  What I lost track of, was in not fighting over my membership
in The Human Race.  How little of us take that membership seriously.

This is one club, that doesn't cost to join, nor are their dues to pay.

So back to The Academy Awards Nominees, I would suggest that if James or Katherine win,
for best Directing, that they share this award with their x. After all, the sum total of their craft
was built from parts of both players. Joint custody ain't a bad idea, certainly less expensive
than attorney fees.

I am still Marshall Bitkower, a bit older, a bit wiser, a bit still edgy, but what the hell, we only
go around once. Perhaps our adversaries and x's, don't seem to know this.
By the way, I llok forward to Pres. Clinton and Pres. Bush, apearing on "Hung", the series.

One of them should be "Hung", from a tree, but he wouldn't know it and one should write a book,
about being a "Tiger", in the white House. 

The Golden Globe Awards, a show of class, glamour girls with quite an ass and a place where Sandra Bullock can gracefully say "BullShit" After all it was on the NBC (Neckrophiliacs Bribe Conan) Networst.

Last night on the once honored NBC, where there once was the "Diamond" of Broadcasting, which
is now called "The Well-Dung" networst. had the classiest and starful awards show.

The Golden Globes has always been a class act show. Most of the people attending know what
it is to really "stretch" out and  "suck" it in( these were one call starlets) Each person attending
is given a picture of themselves, in one year. Most are then given various upcoming( isn't that
a great word?) dates for a wittle Nip/Tuck time.  These Royal Punim's, will soon look 14yrs.
younger.  For the "Cougar" look, the fee is $6500.00, for each time you have been married
or each time you had sex with the same person, for five times or more.

Former Oscars, Tony's, Emmy's, Grammy's and proof of ownership in a TV series, with over
115 episodes, can be used as collateral, but not to exceed $250.00

Ricky Gervais had some brilliant moments. When he introduced Mel Gibson, who looked
like he had too many Gibson's, it was like watching Hitler touring a "Viking/Mele" store.

I would like to see Haley Barry, Natalie Portman, Julianne Margolies, Rachael Weitz and
that Raven girl from "24", starring in the new version of "Make Room For Daddy" and I
wood play the "Daddy" In this case the step daddy. I would help raise these tender morsals
of  Tinsel-Town.

Meryl Streep is having a ball, in all these great comedic roles.  This is one "CupCake" who is
always great in "Rolls" she is cast in. One of my favorite rolls she played, was that of the " Kaiser"

Now that was a roll(Bada-Bing)  Sandra Bullock has become a "National Treasure" Now wonder
she has Jesse James guarding her. I loved his mother, Joni!

The Phrase, Suave , Charming and Debonaire, was created for George Clooney.

Maybe if I'm lucky enough, in 20yrs., to get a part in James Cameron's next movie
"THE BIBLE" Pro vs Con., I two might be a Golden Globe Nominee.

Till then, great title for a song, I am still Marshall Bitkower, the crooning warbler, who
is trying out Sat., to be The American Susan Boyle. And my thanks to George/Molly,
Greg/Ellen, Conrad/Elaine, Mary & The Maryinettes, Rogers/Astaire, Vanna White/
Vowl Movement, The Ungar Library, Danny/Juniors, Julia/Julia, Howdy/His Doody/
The Texico Star Men, Fernando/Esther, Debbie/Elizabeth, Harpo/Chico/Marxism's,
The Chairman Of The Board Of The Mile Hi Club, Bill Clinton, Hillary/The Flying Nun
Ryan Seacrest/Sea Men, Lollipop/Lolipop, Bernie Gelson/Mrs. Gooch, Lone Ranger/Teller
(no Penn) and that Special Girl From Wilson High School/Legal Sectratary, who is really
a "JOY" to beheld.

NBC'S RATINGS ARE LOWER THAN LADY GA GA'S GA GA'S. FOX ISA PHONAN, FOR CONAN. LETTERMAN IS CALLING IT, "THE CIRCUS OF STARS"

The NBC Network, aka Nudge By Conan, is in dire-straights of having it's PeaCock shaved.
It seems "The Jay Leno 10pm, 5 days a week , has died a quick death. Much faster than Tiger's
appetight binges or faster than a speeding bullet. Jay ought to put his stale jokes and low libedo
into a musium, just like he has for his cars. Poor Conan( wasn't he one of the "Coneheads",
has been offered a spot, at 12.05am. the problem is, it cannot be called the Tonight Show,
more like the "After Tonight Show" This is because the very talented program directors there,
are given Jay a 11.30pm show.  If I am correct Jay started the Tonight show, when it was
90 minutes, which became a 60 minute broadcast. Now, The Nitwits By Choice Networth'
want to give Jay 30 minutes. Hey Leno, do you see a pattern here?

I wonder what Mavis has to say, hell, is there really a Mavis? Why doesn't the poporatsi's find her
and grill her for answers. Why doesn't CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, The Cartoon Networth and the
Dupont Networth, offer one million daollars, for just a photo of her.

At least Johnnie Carson, used to show all his ex wives and the current one. David Letterman
has shown pictures of his wife. Conan has never shown pictures of his "Farfell Family" ( now that's funny)

Jimmy Kimmel, was really funny last night, he wore a 25lb.chin, when talking about Jay.

Jimmy Fallen, is keeping his mouth closed. Like he should of done in the movie , with
Queen Laydiva!!

Poor Carson Daily, no one really watched his show, now only Jay and Conan will be watching.

As for the asstoot NBC Mental Mensch's, I hear they are working( working?) to fill the gap at 10pm,
Monday-Friday.  Here are my suggestions for new shows.(bathroom break, be right back)

Mon. 10 pm-"Law and Disorder", the true story of the program executives at NBC.

Tues. 10pm-"Fairy Tails of The Young & The Restless" Masked true stories of how many men
from William Morris End-ever, slept with the Pea-cock, to get a head in this business.

Wed. 10pm-The reality series, "Inside James Cameron's Brain". This show will be dedicated to
all relatives of Studio's, who never had a hit movie, grossing over $1.25

Thurs. 10pm-Saint Elsewear and Dr. Kildare join forces and look for a cure for "Bordom"

Fri. 10pm- Re-runs of, " THE DINAH SHORE SHOW", showing how to see the "USA in your
Chevrolet, America's the greatest land of all" Burt Reynolds and  David Nelson, will co-host.

So Ladies and Gentlemen and All The Ships At Sea, I am still Marshall Bitkower, soon to be
known as Marshall The Crooner. Another showing of who I am.  In the meantime, why is
Elmer Fudd, still in charge of America's Intelligence Agencies?

GUESS WHAT? I'M BACK AND YOU MUST BE TOO. IF YOU AREN'T BACK, THEN CLOSE. I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT THINGS ARE BETTER, BUT I HEAR THAT GENERAL MOTORS HAS BEEN DEMOTED TO PVT. MOTORS.

Well ,we survived 2009,(WHOOOPEE) but some of us did not. Tiger Woods, has been secluded
in a private place. He's bundled up in a "warm" and "cozy" spot, somewhere in the "Deep" South.
The weather reports say that the climate is "moist", with no sighns of humility insight. Insight is one
thing Tiger does not seem to have., although he's had alot of other things.

California's Govenor, Coneadd The Terminator, gave his "True Lies" State of the State speech
today, His wife had to leave, because her cell phone's song,"Hell To The Chief", went off. It
turned out the caller was Sylvester Stallone. Sly reminded her that the script is fininished for the
movie he and Arnie will be filming, in a few years. The tentative title is "Alter Cockers Do Activia"
Jamie Lee Curtis, will co-star. Who would of "Guest?" ( now that's funny)

The Awards Show Season has started. The People's Choice Awards has Queen Laydiva, as itz
Hostess. I'm sure she will knot be the only "Queen", at this gayla event. Adam Lambert, the new
"Revlon" spokesperson, will be introducing the new "Lipstick Stick", which contain batteries. Need
I say more? Another item he will introduce, will be Adam's Moisterizing Cream. I won't ask what
area it will be applied, but there are two places of interest. I hear the C.I.A. is investigating the fact
that Adam and his "Apple" have been seen all over(or under) West Hollywierd, dressed in Laycee
Army Fatigues.

Mr. Awards Man(?) Neil Patrick Harris, will explain on TMZ, why his parents gave him two Manly
Man names.I guess "Mary Jayne" wood of been the names of choice, kinda like free-choice!

The Numbing Award, has been given to Jay Leno. The Award was given for the "Dullest" hour on TV.
Jay's trite and tiresome "funnies" are the Ambien of The Television Networth. Perhaps NBC, now
means "Not By Choice"

Mary Tyler Moore and Jesse Ventura, will have a new sit calm, on the Milk Of Magnesium Channel.
It will be titled,"They Went That Away" (bada bing,bada bang)

News Flash---The Los Angeles Presevation Society has renamed The LaBrea Tar Pits. The new name
is, The LaBrea Avitar Pits"  Did juno that 20th Century Fox gave James Cameron a $100,000,000
bonus for the "Titanic" movie, which grossed ( according to Mrs. Gross) almost two billion dollars.

20th Century Fox is projecting a 4.5 billion dollar gross for "Avitar". They are now negoiating with
Congress to buy and give James, The State Of Alaska. Watch out Sarah, you might be transported
to a new planet and you may grow a tail. This time, you maybe the "Hunted" and won't have your
Levi"s on for fast running. Sarah running, can you just imagine that?

James Cameron's next movie will be about a Luxury Cruise Ship, with 19,000 passengers, which is
wisked away and lands on William Shatner, who still dresses as James T. Kirk. The movie will be a
dramedy, called "Space Ships" ( isn't that cute?) The Plotz involves a Canadian Shakespearean, or Bacon,
actor, who yearns to meet a man with pointy ears. He creates an "Enterprise" of super crews ships, which surge to various unknown worlds. The vessels main squeeze, Ms. Oh-Whorea, has Come a board, to
develope the first Intergalactia Brothel. Think of it, Intercourse in Interspace.

Well that's about it for now, boys and girls, combinations there of, plus good luck to TNT, for giving
"Southland", another chance.

My name is still Marshall Bitkower. By the vay, whatever happened to Veronica Lake, Arthur Lake,
Swan Lake, Lisa Edelstein's halter top, Shelley Nelbert, Mike Glickman, Francis Scott Key, Sabu,
Tony Marshall, Denise Dannon, Marion & George Kirby, Sidney Toler, Philo Vance, Tommy Rettig,
and "Nate", from "Nate n Al's?"

BYE,BYE 2009, I DID KNOT LIKE YOU, I WILL NOT MISS YOU AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU HAD NO MEANING, YOU WERE "MEAN" TO EVERYONE & EVERYTHING, IF WE KNEW WHAT YOU WERE ALL ABOUT, WE WOULD OF PASSED ON YOU. IN OTHER WORDS, "YOU SUCK"

I had a Professor in Law School, who would say to anything that he did knot like,"Kiss Mere In Toukess",
you do not have to be  Jewish to figure-out ( like Kirsty Alley) what this expression means.

You initially charmed us, when you entered after New Years Eve, 2008, but we learned what a phoney you
were. PHD's and Psychiatrists, from television and acclaimed member's of  Harvard, Westlake schools,
Stanford (and son's) MIT, Cal-Teck, Rydell High, Dr. House, Dr. Do-Little, Doctoured Documents,
Gelson"s and Our Miss Brooks, all agree that you vere nothing, except a real "Dr. Evil". Mike Myers
played you in da movies. You could of seen it at IMAX or MINY ME.( Bada Bing, Bada Bob)
Weemember "The Road Movies", such as "Road To Rodeo Dr?" Now yous nose who Bing & Bob were.

Now where was I, oh yeah, in Woodland Hills. Now back to 2009, a real "schmuck", of a year.

Perhaps 2010, will be a better year. We all could use some tranquilty in our lives. Hay, if we survived
2009, maybe there is still Hope four the Human Race.  It looks like 2010 could be our saving Grace.
Thank You, George Burns!  If Sherlock Homes ( not to be confused with KB Homes) can gross,
$65, 000,000 the first week and Avitar can gross $610,000,000, in 7 days, then we gonna make
it,two.

I wish to personally Thank, George and Molly Hatcher, Greg and Ellen Bitkower, Balfore and Suzanne
Lax and Punky Lax, My Sis, Mary Hatcher and her kids, Dr. Mark and Lisa Goulston, James and Karen
Vititoe and Mrs. Calabash, wherever she iz, for the warmth and understanding, that they have given me
throughout the year(s)

I, also Thank God, that my son, Mark Bitkower and I have a relationship again and I wish a speedy
recovery, to a Very Special Hungarian Lady, from Long Beach,Calif., who will always be the Love
Of My Life. God Speed, God Bless and may 2010 be the year of understanding and peace.

I, am still Marshall Bitkower and I still miss Dean Martin and my Baby Girl, Emmy. Now drive safely
tonight, because the person in the other car, could be you and your loved ones. Except for Tiger Woods,
who has loved ones,twos,threes,fours, and now is "UP" (now that's funny) into double digets and double
C's and dble. D's. 

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER'S, FBI,LAPD,HOMELAND SECURITY,WEST HOLLYWOOD SHERRIFS DEPT ( WITH THEIR CUTE WITTLE OUTFITZ, BORDER PATROL,THE LOAN RANGER AND TONTO,JESSE JAMES AND SANDRA BULLOCK,MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HIS DEPUTY MARSHAL'S,SARGENT PRESTON AND YUCON KING, HUGH DOWNS AND THE CIA, WHO ARE LOOKING FOR THE MEANING OF THE"I" AND THE SONS OF THE PIONEERS, BBG'S/AZA'S AND DEPUTY DON KNOTTS, WILL BE OUT LOOKING FOR VARMITS TO CAPTURE!

To my Fellow and Fellowetts Americans, the largest( keep your out of the gutter and clutter) will be
searching for the worst offenders, you know(knot the candy bar, who dated Mickey Cohen)and eye-no
who even Law & Order(1-3) refuses to dramaties( the ones with Betty Davis,Gig Young,Paul Muni,
John Barrymore,Jon Gosslinen, Denise Ungar, Marcel Marsew, Randy Quaid, The Hardy Boys, Ed Hard-ee, Clint Eastwood, Senator Byrd, "Big"Bird, Fanny Brice, Vincent Price, Holiday On Ice and The Five
Stooges, Vat yous don't remember Ira & Bubbie Stooge and my uncle Mike Shapiro, from the Sands
Hotel in Loss Vegass?

Yes these "dramties" are sold at Buffins, Orbach's, Nat Weiss,Gimbles,Mr.Mike of Beverly Hills and the
parking lot of Delores's and Hamilton High School"s Auditorium, where I sang "Mack The Knife" and inside
Mr. Teaford's wooden leg. (not to be confused with John Wooden)


Meanwhile, back at the ranch, these Law Enforcement, men, women and in/betweiners, are on mission
style, to arrest bad people and bad shows on Television and Cable. The list of "alleged" baddies are

1. Jay Leno, who's 10pm show, is duller than Richard Nixon's grand kids.
2. Katy Cureact, who thinks a new hairstyle is NEWS.
3. HBO's" True Blood ", for never discussing False Blood.
4. To Time Warner, for never doing a movie, based upon The Warner Brothers
5. To Oprah Winfrey, for portraying Oprah Winfrey
6. To CBS, for not putting on, CSI-Tel Aviv (bada bang bada bagels)
7. To The CW for redoing Melrose Place and not showing the pilot for "Ventura Blvd" Where do these
    jerks think "Valley Girls" come from.
8. To NBC, for not showing Bob Barker's 115th. Birthday Party.
9. To ABC, for not showing Robert Wagner's Reverse Mortgage Comercials. What "RJ" should be
    pitching is "Reverse Aging". By the way, what ever happened to Stephanie Powers? Remember
    she was "The Girl From Uncle"
10.To FOX News, for not allowing their girl reporters, to wear "Halter Tops
11. To Carol Burnett, for not having her own show again. Like Leo The Lion said, "That's Entertainment"
12. To Marshall Bitkower, who seems to know all about these "Drippy Do-Due Shows.


Once again,(like a new Tiger Woods Mistress wood say, I think  a new one is coming up) it is that time
when I must bid adue to 2009, the year of Heartaches and Avitar. Mr. Cameron, you are a genius,
in spite of the fact that your movie before "Tanked" Now that's "Funny" If you do not get it, get into your
Ford Pinto and drive away.  PS I certainly miss my German Shepard and Best Friend, Emmy Bitkower.

"HERE YEE, HEAR YEE( WHATEVER A YEE IZ) THEE BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS FOR 2009, WILL SOON BEGIN( NO NOT THE FORMER PRIME MINISTER OF ISREAL). BUT FIRST THERE ARE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO, BEFOUR THEE AWARDS ARE ANNOUNCED.

Grab your Ipods,open your Blackberry's, find your Smart phones ( IQ's of 75+),produce your cell phones
( or cell-u-lite for women)look up your Webb Sites( not Donald Duck),prepare your Emales and fee-male
brides), your AVITAR Shades, with your AVITAR inhalers, your spring chickens, with their spring mattresses, toss out all of Mel Gibson's wedding vows, hidden under his bottles of Gibson's, retract
Bruce Springsteen's favorite dish, a Patti-melt and do not vote for Osmondland, to become the fifty first
State in The United States. This is because every Osmond has eight children, 375 cousins, 550 aunts and
549 uncles(one uncle double dipped)

You probably do not know that the Theme song of Osmondland is" Womb On The Range." Now that's hot

Additionally, throw out your Huggies and Huggy Bears, your Viagra and goulosh's, your Girl Scout Cookies
and Tonto ( think about it Lone Ranger, but not the guy in the bank) Bada Bing, Bada Bang. Discard your
Chrysler Solara and your solar heater, erase the offspring of Capt. Kangaroo and The Grunge, known as
Capt. Kangagrunge ( that is stupid, but I'm knot purrfect)

Take your two week old Latka's and give them to The Army in Irac( not to be related to the song, "Irac  all the way home". Destroy all your 3 Musketeer bars and four in hand ties. Cut up all your KY and KGB cards. Seek and destroy all of Glayds Knight's Pips and membership in the private club "Pips"

Purge all Burger King wrappers, but not Snoop Dog, along with audition tapes from "the Young And
The Restless, which show clips of David Hassellhoff, Lindsay Low-han, Kiefer Southerland, Brittney
Spears, Forrest Tucker, Marjorie Lord, Marjorie Main, Mr. Wizzard and Bob Clampett, before they
became stars. Keep the clibs from Ira the Moyle.

                               NOW WE HAVE COME (AND ARE MORE RELAXED) TO THE EXITING
                               PART OF OUR PROGRAM. THE BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS FOR 2009
          
                     THIS IS A GOOD TIME FOR A BATHROOM BREAK AND TO PUT YOUR KIDS
                     TO SLEEP, OR SEND THEM TO SIT & SLEEP. ITZ FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


FIRST CATAGORY-ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS
1. THE 14 WOMAN OF THE HIT T.V. SHOW, "HEIDI FLEISS AIN'T TOO  WISE" ALL OF THESE
WONDERFUL LADIES, OF THE EVENING, HAVE NOTCH'S ON TIGER WOOD'S PUTTER.
THEY WILL AND HAVE "GONE DOWN" IN THE ANALS OF SPORTS ILL-ISTRATED OPEN
FOURUM OF SLEEZY. ( NOT ONE OF SNOE WHITE'S DWARFS)

I UNDERSTAND THAT EACH OF THE 14, WILL AUDITION FOR THE NEW VERSION OF
"THE PRICE IS RIGHT"

2. THE NEW SYLVESTER STALLONE MOVIE, "THE EXPENDABLES"( ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT WAIST SIZE'S)  SLY'S CO-STARS WILL BE, DOLPH LUNDGREN, REIC ROBERTS,
WILFRED BRIMLEY, JETT LEE, DICK VAN DYKE, MEREDETH BAXTER, MARJORIE LORD, MARJORIE MAIN, JON CLAUDE VAN DAMN, VICTOR JORY, REGIS PILLBAN, MICKEY
ROONEY( YES HE IS STILL ALIVE, AT 114YRS.OLD) SABU, RUSS TAMBLYN, NANCY CULP,
NANCY'S BROTHER, ROBERT CULP, MANTAN MORELAND,BURL IVES, DAVID LADD,
JOSE GRECCO,BUDDY GRECCO,HELEN GRACCO, ANN HATHAWAY( THE DAUGHTER OF
"THEY WENT THATAWAY".

CAMEO'S WILL BE, ALEX TREBEC, MORRY THE DELI MAN, NANCY QUAN, POLLY BERGIN, NANCY META, ERNEST BORGNINE, POLLY ADLER, PHILO VANCE, MR. T,
STACY LONDON,  A FAVORITE OF MINE, DR. OZ AND HIS FATHER, WIZARD.

PLUS BETTY WHITE AND ROGER MOORE, AS STAR CROSSED LOVERS.
PART OF THE BUDGET WILL BE THE MAKERS OF "GERITOL" AND DONALD TRUMP'S
ALIMONY FUND, VESTED AND FUTURE.

3.JAMES CAMERON, AS THE GENIUS OF THE DECADE. THE MAN WITH SUCH VISION,
THAT HE HAS PREDICTED THAT SARA PALLIN, WILL STAR IN THE REMAKE OF THE FILM
"THE MOUTH THAT ROARD"

4. TO ANJOYLIE JOLIE, FOR BUYING UP THE RIGHTS, TO THE LIFE OF MS. SOUL-EE-MAN
ENTITLED, "I REQUESTED A WIDE BIRTH, BUT NOT IN PURPIDTWOITY"


                                    INTERMISSION, BUT NOT A POSITION.


POLITICK AWARDS
1. SEN. ROBERT BYRD, THE MAN WHO PROVES THAT PERSONALITY AND CONGRESS
ARE NOT RELATED.

2.SEN. CHANEY, THE BLACKSHEEP OF THE LAWN CHANEY DYNASTY. COMPARE HIM
TO CHEVY CHASE ON "SATURDAY NITE LIVE" AUNTICS.

3. MS. NANCY PELOSSIE, A COMBINATION OF BEAUTY, WIT,CHARM AND THE ONLY
PERSON IN GOVERNMENT, WHO COULD FLIP YOU THE "BYRD", WITHOUT MOVING
HER HAND.

5. SARA PALLIN, YES AGAIN, WHO SHOULD NOT GO HUNTING WITH SEN. CHANEY, OR
MAYBE SHE SHOULD.

6. THE FORMER GOV. OF ILL., YOU KNOW THE GUY WITH HIS HAIR OVER HIS EYES,
AS OPPOSED TO THE WOOL OVER HIS EYES, I WILL TRY TO NAME THIS MODERN
"ISHKABIBBLE" RON BRADORIVITCHITCH.

THE SPORTS WORLD AWARDS.  IN ALL HUMILITY, THESE PEOPLE THINK THE PHRASE
"BATTERS UP" IS A DESCRIPTION, NOT A SPORT'S TACTIC.

NUMERO UNO, OF COURSE ,GOES TO THE FORMER IDOL OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE,
THE MAN THAT "GOOD HOUSEKEEPING" PICKED AS THE MAN TO LOOK UP TO,
BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE A "FREE AGENT", WITH A MONTHLY INCOME( NOW, THAT'S
A FUNNY WAY OF PUTTING IT)  THE WINNER, WHO IS NOW THE BIGGEST LOOSER'
IS TIGER WOODS( WHO SHOULD OF BEEN A MORMON)

I DON'T WANT TO KICK A MAN THAT IS DOWN, BUT WHAT WAS HE THINKING?
ITZ KIND OF LIKE CHINESE FOOD, AFTER AN HOUR, YOU WANT SOME MORE,MORE
AND MORE. ANYONE WHO LEAVES VOICE MASSAGES FOR HIS DESSERTS,
REALLY HAS A LOOSE SCREW. IN TIGER'S CASE(S), HE WAS ONLY AFTER
A TIGHT SCREW.  WHERE WERE HIS POSSY"THE CORRECT SPELLING" OF HIS
HANDLERS, WHO SHOULD OF PROTECTED HIS GOODY TWO SHOES IMAGE?
THEY SAW WHAT HE WAS "UP TWO"(OR DOWN TWO) AND USED A LITTLE BRAIN
POWER, TO USE THE PROPER VENUE TO PLEASE HIS STROKES,

WHAT TIGER NEEDED WAS A COL. PARKER, NOT PVT. RUMP-FREE.


2. TO ALEX ROD(NOW THAT'S FUNNY)RIGUEZ, FOR SHOWING HOW TO SLIDE INTO
A HOME RUN.  HE HAS SHOWED GREAT STAMINA IN TRADING IN AN OLDER MODEL BLONDE, INTO A YOUNGER ONE.  I GUESS HE THOUGHT HE WAS A GREAT PILOT,
BECAUSE HE ALSO LANDED IN THE HUDSON.

3. TO KOBE, FOR LEARNING THE SONG, "DIAMONDS AND A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER, ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

SO THAT'S IT, THE 2009 BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS ANNOUNCEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE.

I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HARVEY LEVIN(OR UNLEVIN) CAN KEEP HIS
TMZ, I HAVE MY AZA.  OH YEAH, BEFOUR I SIGN OFF, FOR TONIGHT, I HEAR THAT
TROJAN CO., MAY HAVE TIGER WOODS, AS THEIR SPOKESMAN, FOR 2010.