Last night on the once honored NBC, where there once was the "Diamond" of Broadcasting, which
is now called "The Well-Dung" networst. had the classiest and starful awards show.
The Golden Globes has always been a class act show. Most of the people attending know what
it is to really "stretch" out and "suck" it in( these were one call starlets) Each person attending
is given a picture of themselves, in one year. Most are then given various upcoming( isn't that
a great word?) dates for a wittle Nip/Tuck time. These Royal Punim's, will soon look 14yrs.
younger. For the "Cougar" look, the fee is $6500.00, for each time you have been married
or each time you had sex with the same person, for five times or more.
Former Oscars, Tony's, Emmy's, Grammy's and proof of ownership in a TV series, with over
115 episodes, can be used as collateral, but not to exceed $250.00
Ricky Gervais had some brilliant moments. When he introduced Mel Gibson, who looked
like he had too many Gibson's, it was like watching Hitler touring a "Viking/Mele" store.
I would like to see Haley Barry, Natalie Portman, Julianne Margolies, Rachael Weitz and
that Raven girl from "24", starring in the new version of "Make Room For Daddy" and I
wood play the "Daddy" In this case the step daddy. I would help raise these tender morsals
of Tinsel-Town.
Meryl Streep is having a ball, in all these great comedic roles. This is one "CupCake" who is
always great in "Rolls" she is cast in. One of my favorite rolls she played, was that of the " Kaiser"
Now that was a roll(Bada-Bing) Sandra Bullock has become a "National Treasure" Now wonder
she has Jesse James guarding her. I loved his mother, Joni!
The Phrase, Suave , Charming and Debonaire, was created for George Clooney.
Maybe if I'm lucky enough, in 20yrs., to get a part in James Cameron's next movie
"THE BIBLE" Pro vs Con., I two might be a Golden Globe Nominee.
Till then, great title for a song, I am still Marshall Bitkower, the crooning warbler, who
is trying out Sat., to be The American Susan Boyle. And my thanks to George/Molly,
Greg/Ellen, Conrad/Elaine, Mary & The Maryinettes, Rogers/Astaire, Vanna White/
Vowl Movement, The Ungar Library, Danny/Juniors, Julia/Julia, Howdy/His Doody/
The Texico Star Men, Fernando/Esther, Debbie/Elizabeth, Harpo/Chico/Marxism's,
The Chairman Of The Board Of The Mile Hi Club, Bill Clinton, Hillary/The Flying Nun
Ryan Seacrest/Sea Men, Lollipop/Lolipop, Bernie Gelson/Mrs. Gooch, Lone Ranger/Teller
(no Penn) and that Special Girl From Wilson High School/Legal Sectratary, who is really
a "JOY" to beheld.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
NBC'S RATINGS ARE LOWER THAN LADY GA GA'S GA GA'S. FOX ISA PHONAN, FOR CONAN. LETTERMAN IS CALLING IT, "THE CIRCUS OF STARS"
The NBC Network, aka Nudge By Conan, is in dire-straights of having it's PeaCock shaved.
It seems "The Jay Leno 10pm, 5 days a week , has died a quick death. Much faster than Tiger's
appetight binges or faster than a speeding bullet. Jay ought to put his stale jokes and low libedo
into a musium, just like he has for his cars. Poor Conan( wasn't he one of the "Coneheads",
has been offered a spot, at 12.05am. the problem is, it cannot be called the Tonight Show,
more like the "After Tonight Show" This is because the very talented program directors there,
are given Jay a 11.30pm show. If I am correct Jay started the Tonight show, when it was
90 minutes, which became a 60 minute broadcast. Now, The Nitwits By Choice Networth'
want to give Jay 30 minutes. Hey Leno, do you see a pattern here?
I wonder what Mavis has to say, hell, is there really a Mavis? Why doesn't the poporatsi's find her
and grill her for answers. Why doesn't CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, The Cartoon Networth and the
Dupont Networth, offer one million daollars, for just a photo of her.
At least Johnnie Carson, used to show all his ex wives and the current one. David Letterman
has shown pictures of his wife. Conan has never shown pictures of his "Farfell Family" ( now that's funny)
Jimmy Kimmel, was really funny last night, he wore a 25lb.chin, when talking about Jay.
Jimmy Fallen, is keeping his mouth closed. Like he should of done in the movie , with
Queen Laydiva!!
Poor Carson Daily, no one really watched his show, now only Jay and Conan will be watching.
As for the asstoot NBC Mental Mensch's, I hear they are working( working?) to fill the gap at 10pm,
Monday-Friday. Here are my suggestions for new shows.(bathroom break, be right back)
Mon. 10 pm-"Law and Disorder", the true story of the program executives at NBC.
Tues. 10pm-"Fairy Tails of The Young & The Restless" Masked true stories of how many men
from William Morris End-ever, slept with the Pea-cock, to get a head in this business.
Wed. 10pm-The reality series, "Inside James Cameron's Brain". This show will be dedicated to
all relatives of Studio's, who never had a hit movie, grossing over $1.25
Thurs. 10pm-Saint Elsewear and Dr. Kildare join forces and look for a cure for "Bordom"
Fri. 10pm- Re-runs of, " THE DINAH SHORE SHOW", showing how to see the "USA in your
Chevrolet, America's the greatest land of all" Burt Reynolds and David Nelson, will co-host.
So Ladies and Gentlemen and All The Ships At Sea, I am still Marshall Bitkower, soon to be
known as Marshall The Crooner. Another showing of who I am. In the meantime, why is
Elmer Fudd, still in charge of America's Intelligence Agencies?
It seems "The Jay Leno 10pm, 5 days a week , has died a quick death. Much faster than Tiger's
appetight binges or faster than a speeding bullet. Jay ought to put his stale jokes and low libedo
into a musium, just like he has for his cars. Poor Conan( wasn't he one of the "Coneheads",
has been offered a spot, at 12.05am. the problem is, it cannot be called the Tonight Show,
more like the "After Tonight Show" This is because the very talented program directors there,
are given Jay a 11.30pm show. If I am correct Jay started the Tonight show, when it was
90 minutes, which became a 60 minute broadcast. Now, The Nitwits By Choice Networth'
want to give Jay 30 minutes. Hey Leno, do you see a pattern here?
I wonder what Mavis has to say, hell, is there really a Mavis? Why doesn't the poporatsi's find her
and grill her for answers. Why doesn't CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, The Cartoon Networth and the
Dupont Networth, offer one million daollars, for just a photo of her.
At least Johnnie Carson, used to show all his ex wives and the current one. David Letterman
has shown pictures of his wife. Conan has never shown pictures of his "Farfell Family" ( now that's funny)
Jimmy Kimmel, was really funny last night, he wore a 25lb.chin, when talking about Jay.
Jimmy Fallen, is keeping his mouth closed. Like he should of done in the movie , with
Queen Laydiva!!
Poor Carson Daily, no one really watched his show, now only Jay and Conan will be watching.
As for the asstoot NBC Mental Mensch's, I hear they are working( working?) to fill the gap at 10pm,
Monday-Friday. Here are my suggestions for new shows.(bathroom break, be right back)
Mon. 10 pm-"Law and Disorder", the true story of the program executives at NBC.
Tues. 10pm-"Fairy Tails of The Young & The Restless" Masked true stories of how many men
from William Morris End-ever, slept with the Pea-cock, to get a head in this business.
Wed. 10pm-The reality series, "Inside James Cameron's Brain". This show will be dedicated to
all relatives of Studio's, who never had a hit movie, grossing over $1.25
Thurs. 10pm-Saint Elsewear and Dr. Kildare join forces and look for a cure for "Bordom"
Fri. 10pm- Re-runs of, " THE DINAH SHORE SHOW", showing how to see the "USA in your
Chevrolet, America's the greatest land of all" Burt Reynolds and David Nelson, will co-host.
So Ladies and Gentlemen and All The Ships At Sea, I am still Marshall Bitkower, soon to be
known as Marshall The Crooner. Another showing of who I am. In the meantime, why is
Elmer Fudd, still in charge of America's Intelligence Agencies?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
GUESS WHAT? I'M BACK AND YOU MUST BE TOO. IF YOU AREN'T BACK, THEN CLOSE. I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT THINGS ARE BETTER, BUT I HEAR THAT GENERAL MOTORS HAS BEEN DEMOTED TO PVT. MOTORS.
Well ,we survived 2009,(WHOOOPEE) but some of us did not. Tiger Woods, has been secluded
in a private place. He's bundled up in a "warm" and "cozy" spot, somewhere in the "Deep" South.
The weather reports say that the climate is "moist", with no sighns of humility insight. Insight is one
thing Tiger does not seem to have., although he's had alot of other things.
California's Govenor, Coneadd The Terminator, gave his "True Lies" State of the State speech
today, His wife had to leave, because her cell phone's song,"Hell To The Chief", went off. It
turned out the caller was Sylvester Stallone. Sly reminded her that the script is fininished for the
movie he and Arnie will be filming, in a few years. The tentative title is "Alter Cockers Do Activia"
Jamie Lee Curtis, will co-star. Who would of "Guest?" ( now that's funny)
The Awards Show Season has started. The People's Choice Awards has Queen Laydiva, as itz
Hostess. I'm sure she will knot be the only "Queen", at this gayla event. Adam Lambert, the new
"Revlon" spokesperson, will be introducing the new "Lipstick Stick", which contain batteries. Need
I say more? Another item he will introduce, will be Adam's Moisterizing Cream. I won't ask what
area it will be applied, but there are two places of interest. I hear the C.I.A. is investigating the fact
that Adam and his "Apple" have been seen all over(or under) West Hollywierd, dressed in Laycee
Army Fatigues.
Mr. Awards Man(?) Neil Patrick Harris, will explain on TMZ, why his parents gave him two Manly
Man names.I guess "Mary Jayne" wood of been the names of choice, kinda like free-choice!
The Numbing Award, has been given to Jay Leno. The Award was given for the "Dullest" hour on TV.
Jay's trite and tiresome "funnies" are the Ambien of The Television Networth. Perhaps NBC, now
means "Not By Choice"
Mary Tyler Moore and Jesse Ventura, will have a new sit calm, on the Milk Of Magnesium Channel.
It will be titled,"They Went That Away" (bada bing,bada bang)
News Flash---The Los Angeles Presevation Society has renamed The LaBrea Tar Pits. The new name
is, The LaBrea Avitar Pits" Did juno that 20th Century Fox gave James Cameron a $100,000,000
bonus for the "Titanic" movie, which grossed ( according to Mrs. Gross) almost two billion dollars.
20th Century Fox is projecting a 4.5 billion dollar gross for "Avitar". They are now negoiating with
Congress to buy and give James, The State Of Alaska. Watch out Sarah, you might be transported
to a new planet and you may grow a tail. This time, you maybe the "Hunted" and won't have your
Levi"s on for fast running. Sarah running, can you just imagine that?
James Cameron's next movie will be about a Luxury Cruise Ship, with 19,000 passengers, which is
wisked away and lands on William Shatner, who still dresses as James T. Kirk. The movie will be a
dramedy, called "Space Ships" ( isn't that cute?) The Plotz involves a Canadian Shakespearean, or Bacon,
actor, who yearns to meet a man with pointy ears. He creates an "Enterprise" of super crews ships, which surge to various unknown worlds. The vessels main squeeze, Ms. Oh-Whorea, has Come a board, to
develope the first Intergalactia Brothel. Think of it, Intercourse in Interspace.
Well that's about it for now, boys and girls, combinations there of, plus good luck to TNT, for giving
"Southland", another chance.
My name is still Marshall Bitkower. By the vay, whatever happened to Veronica Lake, Arthur Lake,
Swan Lake, Lisa Edelstein's halter top, Shelley Nelbert, Mike Glickman, Francis Scott Key, Sabu,
Tony Marshall, Denise Dannon, Marion & George Kirby, Sidney Toler, Philo Vance, Tommy Rettig,
and "Nate", from "Nate n Al's?"
in a private place. He's bundled up in a "warm" and "cozy" spot, somewhere in the "Deep" South.
The weather reports say that the climate is "moist", with no sighns of humility insight. Insight is one
thing Tiger does not seem to have., although he's had alot of other things.
California's Govenor, Coneadd The Terminator, gave his "True Lies" State of the State speech
today, His wife had to leave, because her cell phone's song,"Hell To The Chief", went off. It
turned out the caller was Sylvester Stallone. Sly reminded her that the script is fininished for the
movie he and Arnie will be filming, in a few years. The tentative title is "Alter Cockers Do Activia"
Jamie Lee Curtis, will co-star. Who would of "Guest?" ( now that's funny)
The Awards Show Season has started. The People's Choice Awards has Queen Laydiva, as itz
Hostess. I'm sure she will knot be the only "Queen", at this gayla event. Adam Lambert, the new
"Revlon" spokesperson, will be introducing the new "Lipstick Stick", which contain batteries. Need
I say more? Another item he will introduce, will be Adam's Moisterizing Cream. I won't ask what
area it will be applied, but there are two places of interest. I hear the C.I.A. is investigating the fact
that Adam and his "Apple" have been seen all over(or under) West Hollywierd, dressed in Laycee
Army Fatigues.
Mr. Awards Man(?) Neil Patrick Harris, will explain on TMZ, why his parents gave him two Manly
Man names.I guess "Mary Jayne" wood of been the names of choice, kinda like free-choice!
The Numbing Award, has been given to Jay Leno. The Award was given for the "Dullest" hour on TV.
Jay's trite and tiresome "funnies" are the Ambien of The Television Networth. Perhaps NBC, now
means "Not By Choice"
Mary Tyler Moore and Jesse Ventura, will have a new sit calm, on the Milk Of Magnesium Channel.
It will be titled,"They Went That Away" (bada bing,bada bang)
News Flash---The Los Angeles Presevation Society has renamed The LaBrea Tar Pits. The new name
is, The LaBrea Avitar Pits" Did juno that 20th Century Fox gave James Cameron a $100,000,000
bonus for the "Titanic" movie, which grossed ( according to Mrs. Gross) almost two billion dollars.
20th Century Fox is projecting a 4.5 billion dollar gross for "Avitar". They are now negoiating with
Congress to buy and give James, The State Of Alaska. Watch out Sarah, you might be transported
to a new planet and you may grow a tail. This time, you maybe the "Hunted" and won't have your
Levi"s on for fast running. Sarah running, can you just imagine that?
James Cameron's next movie will be about a Luxury Cruise Ship, with 19,000 passengers, which is
wisked away and lands on William Shatner, who still dresses as James T. Kirk. The movie will be a
dramedy, called "Space Ships" ( isn't that cute?) The Plotz involves a Canadian Shakespearean, or Bacon,
actor, who yearns to meet a man with pointy ears. He creates an "Enterprise" of super crews ships, which surge to various unknown worlds. The vessels main squeeze, Ms. Oh-Whorea, has Come a board, to
develope the first Intergalactia Brothel. Think of it, Intercourse in Interspace.
Well that's about it for now, boys and girls, combinations there of, plus good luck to TNT, for giving
"Southland", another chance.
My name is still Marshall Bitkower. By the vay, whatever happened to Veronica Lake, Arthur Lake,
Swan Lake, Lisa Edelstein's halter top, Shelley Nelbert, Mike Glickman, Francis Scott Key, Sabu,
Tony Marshall, Denise Dannon, Marion & George Kirby, Sidney Toler, Philo Vance, Tommy Rettig,
and "Nate", from "Nate n Al's?"
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