GUESS WHAT? I'M BACK AND YOU MUST BE TOO. IF YOU AREN'T BACK, THEN CLOSE. I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT THINGS ARE BETTER, BUT I HEAR THAT GENERAL MOTORS HAS BEEN DEMOTED TO PVT. MOTORS.

Well ,we survived 2009,(WHOOOPEE) but some of us did not. Tiger Woods, has been secluded
in a private place. He's bundled up in a "warm" and "cozy" spot, somewhere in the "Deep" South.
The weather reports say that the climate is "moist", with no sighns of humility insight. Insight is one
thing Tiger does not seem to have., although he's had alot of other things.

California's Govenor, Coneadd The Terminator, gave his "True Lies" State of the State speech
today, His wife had to leave, because her cell phone's song,"Hell To The Chief", went off. It
turned out the caller was Sylvester Stallone. Sly reminded her that the script is fininished for the
movie he and Arnie will be filming, in a few years. The tentative title is "Alter Cockers Do Activia"
Jamie Lee Curtis, will co-star. Who would of "Guest?" ( now that's funny)

The Awards Show Season has started. The People's Choice Awards has Queen Laydiva, as itz
Hostess. I'm sure she will knot be the only "Queen", at this gayla event. Adam Lambert, the new
"Revlon" spokesperson, will be introducing the new "Lipstick Stick", which contain batteries. Need
I say more? Another item he will introduce, will be Adam's Moisterizing Cream. I won't ask what
area it will be applied, but there are two places of interest. I hear the C.I.A. is investigating the fact
that Adam and his "Apple" have been seen all over(or under) West Hollywierd, dressed in Laycee
Army Fatigues.

Mr. Awards Man(?) Neil Patrick Harris, will explain on TMZ, why his parents gave him two Manly
Man names.I guess "Mary Jayne" wood of been the names of choice, kinda like free-choice!

The Numbing Award, has been given to Jay Leno. The Award was given for the "Dullest" hour on TV.
Jay's trite and tiresome "funnies" are the Ambien of The Television Networth. Perhaps NBC, now
means "Not By Choice"

Mary Tyler Moore and Jesse Ventura, will have a new sit calm, on the Milk Of Magnesium Channel.
It will be titled,"They Went That Away" (bada bing,bada bang)

News Flash---The Los Angeles Presevation Society has renamed The LaBrea Tar Pits. The new name
is, The LaBrea Avitar Pits"  Did juno that 20th Century Fox gave James Cameron a $100,000,000
bonus for the "Titanic" movie, which grossed ( according to Mrs. Gross) almost two billion dollars.

20th Century Fox is projecting a 4.5 billion dollar gross for "Avitar". They are now negoiating with
Congress to buy and give James, The State Of Alaska. Watch out Sarah, you might be transported
to a new planet and you may grow a tail. This time, you maybe the "Hunted" and won't have your
Levi"s on for fast running. Sarah running, can you just imagine that?

James Cameron's next movie will be about a Luxury Cruise Ship, with 19,000 passengers, which is
wisked away and lands on William Shatner, who still dresses as James T. Kirk. The movie will be a
dramedy, called "Space Ships" ( isn't that cute?) The Plotz involves a Canadian Shakespearean, or Bacon,
actor, who yearns to meet a man with pointy ears. He creates an "Enterprise" of super crews ships, which surge to various unknown worlds. The vessels main squeeze, Ms. Oh-Whorea, has Come a board, to
develope the first Intergalactia Brothel. Think of it, Intercourse in Interspace.

Well that's about it for now, boys and girls, combinations there of, plus good luck to TNT, for giving
"Southland", another chance.

My name is still Marshall Bitkower. By the vay, whatever happened to Veronica Lake, Arthur Lake,
Swan Lake, Lisa Edelstein's halter top, Shelley Nelbert, Mike Glickman, Francis Scott Key, Sabu,
Tony Marshall, Denise Dannon, Marion & George Kirby, Sidney Toler, Philo Vance, Tommy Rettig,
and "Nate", from "Nate n Al's?"