BYE,BYE 2009, I DID KNOT LIKE YOU, I WILL NOT MISS YOU AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU HAD NO MEANING, YOU WERE "MEAN" TO EVERYONE & EVERYTHING, IF WE KNEW WHAT YOU WERE ALL ABOUT, WE WOULD OF PASSED ON YOU. IN OTHER WORDS, "YOU SUCK"

I had a Professor in Law School, who would say to anything that he did knot like,"Kiss Mere In Toukess",
you do not have to be  Jewish to figure-out ( like Kirsty Alley) what this expression means.

You initially charmed us, when you entered after New Years Eve, 2008, but we learned what a phoney you
were. PHD's and Psychiatrists, from television and acclaimed member's of  Harvard, Westlake schools,
Stanford (and son's) MIT, Cal-Teck, Rydell High, Dr. House, Dr. Do-Little, Doctoured Documents,
Gelson"s and Our Miss Brooks, all agree that you vere nothing, except a real "Dr. Evil". Mike Myers
played you in da movies. You could of seen it at IMAX or MINY ME.( Bada Bing, Bada Bob)
Weemember "The Road Movies", such as "Road To Rodeo Dr?" Now yous nose who Bing & Bob were.

Now where was I, oh yeah, in Woodland Hills. Now back to 2009, a real "schmuck", of a year.

Perhaps 2010, will be a better year. We all could use some tranquilty in our lives. Hay, if we survived
2009, maybe there is still Hope four the Human Race.  It looks like 2010 could be our saving Grace.
Thank You, George Burns!  If Sherlock Homes ( not to be confused with KB Homes) can gross,
$65, 000,000 the first week and Avitar can gross $610,000,000, in 7 days, then we gonna make
it,two.

I wish to personally Thank, George and Molly Hatcher, Greg and Ellen Bitkower, Balfore and Suzanne
Lax and Punky Lax, My Sis, Mary Hatcher and her kids, Dr. Mark and Lisa Goulston, James and Karen
Vititoe and Mrs. Calabash, wherever she iz, for the warmth and understanding, that they have given me
throughout the year(s)

I, also Thank God, that my son, Mark Bitkower and I have a relationship again and I wish a speedy
recovery, to a Very Special Hungarian Lady, from Long Beach,Calif., who will always be the Love
Of My Life. God Speed, God Bless and may 2010 be the year of understanding and peace.

I, am still Marshall Bitkower and I still miss Dean Martin and my Baby Girl, Emmy. Now drive safely
tonight, because the person in the other car, could be you and your loved ones. Except for Tiger Woods,
who has loved ones,twos,threes,fours, and now is "UP" (now that's funny) into double digets and double
C's and dble. D's. 

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER'S, FBI,LAPD,HOMELAND SECURITY,WEST HOLLYWOOD SHERRIFS DEPT ( WITH THEIR CUTE WITTLE OUTFITZ, BORDER PATROL,THE LOAN RANGER AND TONTO,JESSE JAMES AND SANDRA BULLOCK,MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HIS DEPUTY MARSHAL'S,SARGENT PRESTON AND YUCON KING, HUGH DOWNS AND THE CIA, WHO ARE LOOKING FOR THE MEANING OF THE"I" AND THE SONS OF THE PIONEERS, BBG'S/AZA'S AND DEPUTY DON KNOTTS, WILL BE OUT LOOKING FOR VARMITS TO CAPTURE!

To my Fellow and Fellowetts Americans, the largest( keep your out of the gutter and clutter) will be
searching for the worst offenders, you know(knot the candy bar, who dated Mickey Cohen)and eye-no
who even Law & Order(1-3) refuses to dramaties( the ones with Betty Davis,Gig Young,Paul Muni,
John Barrymore,Jon Gosslinen, Denise Ungar, Marcel Marsew, Randy Quaid, The Hardy Boys, Ed Hard-ee, Clint Eastwood, Senator Byrd, "Big"Bird, Fanny Brice, Vincent Price, Holiday On Ice and The Five
Stooges, Vat yous don't remember Ira & Bubbie Stooge and my uncle Mike Shapiro, from the Sands
Hotel in Loss Vegass?

Yes these "dramties" are sold at Buffins, Orbach's, Nat Weiss,Gimbles,Mr.Mike of Beverly Hills and the
parking lot of Delores's and Hamilton High School"s Auditorium, where I sang "Mack The Knife" and inside
Mr. Teaford's wooden leg. (not to be confused with John Wooden)


Meanwhile, back at the ranch, these Law Enforcement, men, women and in/betweiners, are on mission
style, to arrest bad people and bad shows on Television and Cable. The list of "alleged" baddies are

1. Jay Leno, who's 10pm show, is duller than Richard Nixon's grand kids.
2. Katy Cureact, who thinks a new hairstyle is NEWS.
3. HBO's" True Blood ", for never discussing False Blood.
4. To Time Warner, for never doing a movie, based upon The Warner Brothers
5. To Oprah Winfrey, for portraying Oprah Winfrey
6. To CBS, for not putting on, CSI-Tel Aviv (bada bang bada bagels)
7. To The CW for redoing Melrose Place and not showing the pilot for "Ventura Blvd" Where do these
    jerks think "Valley Girls" come from.
8. To NBC, for not showing Bob Barker's 115th. Birthday Party.
9. To ABC, for not showing Robert Wagner's Reverse Mortgage Comercials. What "RJ" should be
    pitching is "Reverse Aging". By the way, what ever happened to Stephanie Powers? Remember
    she was "The Girl From Uncle"
10.To FOX News, for not allowing their girl reporters, to wear "Halter Tops
11. To Carol Burnett, for not having her own show again. Like Leo The Lion said, "That's Entertainment"
12. To Marshall Bitkower, who seems to know all about these "Drippy Do-Due Shows.


Once again,(like a new Tiger Woods Mistress wood say, I think  a new one is coming up) it is that time
when I must bid adue to 2009, the year of Heartaches and Avitar. Mr. Cameron, you are a genius,
in spite of the fact that your movie before "Tanked" Now that's "Funny" If you do not get it, get into your
Ford Pinto and drive away.  PS I certainly miss my German Shepard and Best Friend, Emmy Bitkower.

"HERE YEE, HEAR YEE( WHATEVER A YEE IZ) THEE BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS FOR 2009, WILL SOON BEGIN( NO NOT THE FORMER PRIME MINISTER OF ISREAL). BUT FIRST THERE ARE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO, BEFOUR THEE AWARDS ARE ANNOUNCED.

Grab your Ipods,open your Blackberry's, find your Smart phones ( IQ's of 75+),produce your cell phones
( or cell-u-lite for women)look up your Webb Sites( not Donald Duck),prepare your Emales and fee-male
brides), your AVITAR Shades, with your AVITAR inhalers, your spring chickens, with their spring mattresses, toss out all of Mel Gibson's wedding vows, hidden under his bottles of Gibson's, retract
Bruce Springsteen's favorite dish, a Patti-melt and do not vote for Osmondland, to become the fifty first
State in The United States. This is because every Osmond has eight children, 375 cousins, 550 aunts and
549 uncles(one uncle double dipped)

You probably do not know that the Theme song of Osmondland is" Womb On The Range." Now that's hot

Additionally, throw out your Huggies and Huggy Bears, your Viagra and goulosh's, your Girl Scout Cookies
and Tonto ( think about it Lone Ranger, but not the guy in the bank) Bada Bing, Bada Bang. Discard your
Chrysler Solara and your solar heater, erase the offspring of Capt. Kangaroo and The Grunge, known as
Capt. Kangagrunge ( that is stupid, but I'm knot purrfect)

Take your two week old Latka's and give them to The Army in Irac( not to be related to the song, "Irac  all the way home". Destroy all your 3 Musketeer bars and four in hand ties. Cut up all your KY and KGB cards. Seek and destroy all of Glayds Knight's Pips and membership in the private club "Pips"

Purge all Burger King wrappers, but not Snoop Dog, along with audition tapes from "the Young And
The Restless, which show clips of David Hassellhoff, Lindsay Low-han, Kiefer Southerland, Brittney
Spears, Forrest Tucker, Marjorie Lord, Marjorie Main, Mr. Wizzard and Bob Clampett, before they
became stars. Keep the clibs from Ira the Moyle.

                               NOW WE HAVE COME (AND ARE MORE RELAXED) TO THE EXITING
                               PART OF OUR PROGRAM. THE BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS FOR 2009
          
                     THIS IS A GOOD TIME FOR A BATHROOM BREAK AND TO PUT YOUR KIDS
                     TO SLEEP, OR SEND THEM TO SIT & SLEEP. ITZ FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


FIRST CATAGORY-ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS
1. THE 14 WOMAN OF THE HIT T.V. SHOW, "HEIDI FLEISS AIN'T TOO  WISE" ALL OF THESE
WONDERFUL LADIES, OF THE EVENING, HAVE NOTCH'S ON TIGER WOOD'S PUTTER.
THEY WILL AND HAVE "GONE DOWN" IN THE ANALS OF SPORTS ILL-ISTRATED OPEN
FOURUM OF SLEEZY. ( NOT ONE OF SNOE WHITE'S DWARFS)

I UNDERSTAND THAT EACH OF THE 14, WILL AUDITION FOR THE NEW VERSION OF
"THE PRICE IS RIGHT"

2. THE NEW SYLVESTER STALLONE MOVIE, "THE EXPENDABLES"( ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT WAIST SIZE'S)  SLY'S CO-STARS WILL BE, DOLPH LUNDGREN, REIC ROBERTS,
WILFRED BRIMLEY, JETT LEE, DICK VAN DYKE, MEREDETH BAXTER, MARJORIE LORD, MARJORIE MAIN, JON CLAUDE VAN DAMN, VICTOR JORY, REGIS PILLBAN, MICKEY
ROONEY( YES HE IS STILL ALIVE, AT 114YRS.OLD) SABU, RUSS TAMBLYN, NANCY CULP,
NANCY'S BROTHER, ROBERT CULP, MANTAN MORELAND,BURL IVES, DAVID LADD,
JOSE GRECCO,BUDDY GRECCO,HELEN GRACCO, ANN HATHAWAY( THE DAUGHTER OF
"THEY WENT THATAWAY".

CAMEO'S WILL BE, ALEX TREBEC, MORRY THE DELI MAN, NANCY QUAN, POLLY BERGIN, NANCY META, ERNEST BORGNINE, POLLY ADLER, PHILO VANCE, MR. T,
STACY LONDON,  A FAVORITE OF MINE, DR. OZ AND HIS FATHER, WIZARD.

PLUS BETTY WHITE AND ROGER MOORE, AS STAR CROSSED LOVERS.
PART OF THE BUDGET WILL BE THE MAKERS OF "GERITOL" AND DONALD TRUMP'S
ALIMONY FUND, VESTED AND FUTURE.

3.JAMES CAMERON, AS THE GENIUS OF THE DECADE. THE MAN WITH SUCH VISION,
THAT HE HAS PREDICTED THAT SARA PALLIN, WILL STAR IN THE REMAKE OF THE FILM
"THE MOUTH THAT ROARD"

4. TO ANJOYLIE JOLIE, FOR BUYING UP THE RIGHTS, TO THE LIFE OF MS. SOUL-EE-MAN
ENTITLED, "I REQUESTED A WIDE BIRTH, BUT NOT IN PURPIDTWOITY"


                                    INTERMISSION, BUT NOT A POSITION.


POLITICK AWARDS
1. SEN. ROBERT BYRD, THE MAN WHO PROVES THAT PERSONALITY AND CONGRESS
ARE NOT RELATED.

2.SEN. CHANEY, THE BLACKSHEEP OF THE LAWN CHANEY DYNASTY. COMPARE HIM
TO CHEVY CHASE ON "SATURDAY NITE LIVE" AUNTICS.

3. MS. NANCY PELOSSIE, A COMBINATION OF BEAUTY, WIT,CHARM AND THE ONLY
PERSON IN GOVERNMENT, WHO COULD FLIP YOU THE "BYRD", WITHOUT MOVING
HER HAND.

5. SARA PALLIN, YES AGAIN, WHO SHOULD NOT GO HUNTING WITH SEN. CHANEY, OR
MAYBE SHE SHOULD.

6. THE FORMER GOV. OF ILL., YOU KNOW THE GUY WITH HIS HAIR OVER HIS EYES,
AS OPPOSED TO THE WOOL OVER HIS EYES, I WILL TRY TO NAME THIS MODERN
"ISHKABIBBLE" RON BRADORIVITCHITCH.

THE SPORTS WORLD AWARDS.  IN ALL HUMILITY, THESE PEOPLE THINK THE PHRASE
"BATTERS UP" IS A DESCRIPTION, NOT A SPORT'S TACTIC.

NUMERO UNO, OF COURSE ,GOES TO THE FORMER IDOL OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE,
THE MAN THAT "GOOD HOUSEKEEPING" PICKED AS THE MAN TO LOOK UP TO,
BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE A "FREE AGENT", WITH A MONTHLY INCOME( NOW, THAT'S
A FUNNY WAY OF PUTTING IT)  THE WINNER, WHO IS NOW THE BIGGEST LOOSER'
IS TIGER WOODS( WHO SHOULD OF BEEN A MORMON)

I DON'T WANT TO KICK A MAN THAT IS DOWN, BUT WHAT WAS HE THINKING?
ITZ KIND OF LIKE CHINESE FOOD, AFTER AN HOUR, YOU WANT SOME MORE,MORE
AND MORE. ANYONE WHO LEAVES VOICE MASSAGES FOR HIS DESSERTS,
REALLY HAS A LOOSE SCREW. IN TIGER'S CASE(S), HE WAS ONLY AFTER
A TIGHT SCREW.  WHERE WERE HIS POSSY"THE CORRECT SPELLING" OF HIS
HANDLERS, WHO SHOULD OF PROTECTED HIS GOODY TWO SHOES IMAGE?
THEY SAW WHAT HE WAS "UP TWO"(OR DOWN TWO) AND USED A LITTLE BRAIN
POWER, TO USE THE PROPER VENUE TO PLEASE HIS STROKES,

WHAT TIGER NEEDED WAS A COL. PARKER, NOT PVT. RUMP-FREE.


2. TO ALEX ROD(NOW THAT'S FUNNY)RIGUEZ, FOR SHOWING HOW TO SLIDE INTO
A HOME RUN.  HE HAS SHOWED GREAT STAMINA IN TRADING IN AN OLDER MODEL BLONDE, INTO A YOUNGER ONE.  I GUESS HE THOUGHT HE WAS A GREAT PILOT,
BECAUSE HE ALSO LANDED IN THE HUDSON.

3. TO KOBE, FOR LEARNING THE SONG, "DIAMONDS AND A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER, ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

SO THAT'S IT, THE 2009 BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS ANNOUNCEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE.

I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HARVEY LEVIN(OR UNLEVIN) CAN KEEP HIS
TMZ, I HAVE MY AZA.  OH YEAH, BEFOUR I SIGN OFF, FOR TONIGHT, I HEAR THAT
TROJAN CO., MAY HAVE TIGER WOODS, AS THEIR SPOKESMAN, FOR 2010.       

"COMING SOON", NO NOT "TIGER", THE BIGGEST AND BADASS BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS. FROM ANALS OF ENTERTAINMENT, POLITICKS, HI-PROFILE SCHMUCKS AND WHOMEVER HAS CREATED HAVOC TO THE HUMAN RACE.

LOOK OUT, IT IS BEING HATCHED AND WILL NOT BE SEEN IN 3D.

SHIELD YOUR CHILDREN, MUZZLE YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW AND WONDER WHAT'S
UP, WITH HUGH HEFFNER!  THIS WILL BE REVEALED, FASTER THAN OPRAH AND GALE
WILL BE NAMED "GO"  I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER AND AM GETTING MY SHOTS
BEFORE THE" BLOG-MITZFA" AWARDS FOUR 2009 IS ENDED OR REAR-ENDED.

SAY GOODNITE GRACIE!

WORLD'S LARGEST DATING SITE, "DOLLY MADISON" HIRE'S NEW PITCHMAN, TIGER WOODS, TO FIVE YEAR CONTRACT FOR ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR, OF A FIVE YEAR CONTRACT!

TIGER IS NOW BIGGER THAN DAVID BECKHAM. JUST ASK HANES. THIS IS A VIS-YOU-AL
THING ( DON'Y ASK ME ABOUT MY "THING")  TIGER BABY'S NEW SPON-SORE IS
THE DOLLY MADISON DATING SIGHT. IT IS RUMORED, THAT "THE WOODS-MAN"
WILL ALSO GET A "PEACE" OF THE ACTION.

DOLLY MADISON AND TIGER BABY ARE A PERFECT MATCH. KINDA LIKE JOHN
F( KNOW WHAT THE "F" STANDS FOUR?) KENNEDY AND THE "HOLLY-WOOD"
HALL OF FAME. TMZ SAYS JFK, HAS HAD MOST OF HOOLY-WOOD BLVD. AND
VINE ST., BETWEEN SUNSET AND HOLLYWIERD BLVD.  I, ALSO HEAR A GOOD PIECE
OF "FRANK SINATRA BLVD., IN PALM SPRINGS, ASS WELL.

I AM NOT A GOLF INFORMED PERSON, BUT HAS "WOOD-SEE", EVER WON THE MASTER'S?   I KNOW HE CERTAINLY HAS WON THE "MISTESS'S" AWARD. HE IS
NOW CALLED A "MOTHER-PUTTER"  I ALSO HEAR THAT THE "SMITHSONIAN" HAS
REQUESTED "TIGER'S PUTTER"  IT WILL LIE NEXT TO THE "LINCOLN LOGS" (BADA BING
BADA BANG)

OUR WITTLE TIGER HAS PUT A BID IN, TO BUY THE ELIZABETH TAYLOR ESTATE
IN BEL AIR, BECAUSE IT HAS 127 BEDROOMS. HIS PURCHASE WILL TAKE AFFECT
ON FEB. 14TH. ( THINK 'BOUT IT)  HE HAS PUT DOWN ( CUTE PHRASE) 33MILLION,
ON A "LAY"-AWAY PLAN. THE TOTAL PRICE IS 169 MILLION DOLLARS


THE HOLLYWOOD VARIETY( NOW THAT'S FUNNY, THINK IT OVER, OR UNDER) HAS
REPORTED THAT TIGER WILL TRY AND SIR-PASS, MCDONALD'S CLAIM OF OVER
2 BILLION SERVED/SERVICED.


CHINA, BULL-GARIA, ROMANIA,THE GAZA STRIP CLUB, FRANCE AND PAYGO,PAYGO
WILL EXPORT ALL OF THEIR WOMEN TO":TIGERLAND ", WHICH WILL NOW BE NAMED
"THE HAPPYEST PLACE ON EARTH" SORRY ABOUT THAT MR. DISNEY.


THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, HAS REPORTED THAT TIGER'S WISH LIST IS NOW LONGER
THAN "WAR&PIECE"


SO THAT'S ABOUT IT AND I AM STILL MARSHALL BITKOWER. THE EDITORS OF
SPORTSMEN ILLUSTRATED, HAVE REPORTED THAT TIGER IS NOW NUMBER WON,
FOR HAVING USED THE MOST USED "BALLS" IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS.

"TIGERGATE" TAKES THE WORLD BY STORM! MAKES "WATERGATE" SEEM LIKE A DRIBLE ON SANTA MONICA. AS WE SAY IN LAW, THIS IS A REAL "BILL OF LAY-DING"

There is wide-spread ( good choice of words) reaction to Tiger's Wood-s Rampid bid to be the
new men's version of Anna Nicool Smith's legacy( or should I say "Leg's Up C?") and the modern
man's James Mason. Letta me splain this, when Pamela Mason hired Marvin Mitchelson, ass her
Divorce Atty., Marvin supeenned 50 women, who were laid to rest by Mason. When all 50, were
seated in front of the Courtroom, James Mason quickly settled with Pamela.

Now in Wittle Woodsy's matter, who needs these women in a Court Room? They are all over
or under the news Media. Itz kinda like Vanna White, spinning the wheel, to see who is next in line,
to give vivid de-TAILS, of Tiger's Hole In One.


NEWS FLASH! KEL-LOG'S CORN FLAKES, HAS JUST FIRED TONY THE TIGER!

It seems because of Tony's ancestory, Tiger's are no longer welcome to all the corn flakers.
The ACLU, has filed a Billion Dollar Lawsuit, on behalf of Tony against Kellog's, based upon
civil right's violation's, for discrimination based upon Tony's background.


                        ,           OTHER FALL OUT NEWS!

1. The Zebra World Organization has authorized their black stripes, to be dyed Orange, in protest.
2. The Barber's of Seville have changed their outside poles, to include an Orange Stripe. Saville Road,
has also has stated that all custom made shirts, will have a Bengale Tiger Stripe on them

3. The Assoceans of Global Convicts, Inc., has told their supplier of uniforms, General Mills, the most
decorated soldier from the Fire Island Malay, to make all uniforms with Orange Stripes, instead of Black.

4. The BROAD-WAY( there is a pun in there) Musical, written by Steven Sonheim, has been given
the new Title of "Into The Tiger Woods"

5. The International Errol Flynn fanclub, has nominated Tiger Woods, as their Hero of 2009. Their new
slogan for 2010, will be changed from, "In Like Flynn, to "In Like Woods" What a wonderful gesture and
all proceeds they recieve, will go to all the women/strippers/bar floozies/ladies of the evening/hungary vipers
from Trashy Longerie and all needy little money grubbing, life suck-ing vampires and probably every SAG
Member who has attained the age of 27-92 and who's only work has been as models for "Sit & Sleep"
come-ercials.

6. The Dinah Sore Golf  Ladies(?) will be sponsored by Tiger's Milk. I'm pretty sure, most have not tasted it.

7. The reincardation of the old T.V. show, "To Tail The Truth" will knot include Tiger Woods, as a
panel member,.

8. Gatoraid, will no longer be sold in West Holly-Wood. ( read b/t the sheets)

9. Buick, who's slogan was "Put One In Each Home" will drop Tigert. It seems that Tiger has already
started to "Put 1" in every home, butt it ain't a BUICk.

10. Nike, has the BALLS, to keep Tiger ass their spokesman. The Webster family, has decided to
change the pronunciation of the word "LIKE", in their dick-onarry, to now be pronounced "LIKE_EE"

Well as you all know, my name is Marshall Bitkower and I hear that Tiger Woods has started on a long
road trip. Itz more like a Guilt Trip.

"TIGER,TIGER, ON THE ROAM, SHOULD OF LEFT YOUR PUTTER AT HOME" AND STOP "SPREADING YOUR TIGER'S MILK!

Tiger Woods shoulda let his "Wood", at home, where it belongs. Butt who am I, to tail the "Sports" man
who millions of kids look up to, that a "Hole In One" is usually done on the golf course,knot the :intercourse.

I now not where his mind waz, but any who has a tisket of grey matter, knows people record voice messages and since the time of that "Old Bitch" J. E. Hoover, people can record phone calls. Juno
that J.E. Hoover, wood knot give his home address? I only knew he was a size 14Dress. Now I know
why people laugh, when they here the name "Clyde" Hoover,who learned some tricks from his vacumn
cleaner, waz nicknamed "Bonnie" Sew noe yous noe, that tese two cupcakes, were the origional
"Bonnie & Clyde"

What do you think of that Warren? You know the animal trainer, of big katz, was named "Clyde" and
that he had "Beatty", eyes.( Bada, Bing)

Now we just can't blame "Tiger" FOUR everything( say four real loud and you'll get it!) All these sleezy,
wood be famous sluts, with PR men, publishers, make up arteests and 15 minutes of fame, are really
just poor white trash, who's only thought is "spread " & suck the wealth and get some cash.

Perhaps David Decocknee, who had alot of tripple x files and went into rehab, should Intervein and
show Tiger, that he is not alone with his demons. Of course David went on to star in "Californication",
kinda like the Hair of the female dog, who bit you. You know what they call a female dog?

Well Boys and girls, my name is still Marshall Bitkower and do you why Santa Claws has no children?
It's because he only comes once a year and it"s down the Chimney . I hear Rudolph is writting his
memwars, and a cetain lady from Alaska will be a full chapter, cause she once played a chimney in a
fairy-tail.

"WHAT DO PILGRAMS DUE AFTER THANKSGIVING? THEY CAN'T GO TO PLYMOUTH ROCK, OR AS THEY NOW CALL IT "LEXUS" ROCK

Juno it's interesting, but why do we ownly think about them around Thanksgiving time. Do they send Pilgrimgrams to each otter? I can't believe we have know knowledge 'bout them. I suspect some pose
as Quakers and go to casting calls for the new face on "Quaker Oats" Serial.

Does(not the detergent) the United States Mint ever hold auditions for look-alikes of George Washington,
when they engrave new "Quarters?" Why doesn't Betsy Ross, who made our first flag, appear on any
coins? Did ewe know that Betsy's husband, Dr. Ross, owned the first cannery for Dog Food? (wuf,wuf)

It's probably not known, but the signatures on "The Declaration Of Independence" were written
with Cross Pens? That's why there were no Jewish signers. ( Think about it)

There is now a U.S.Mint Branch in West Hollywood. Wood you like to know what they are about
to unveil? They will be minting the first 69cent coin. It will have engraved the likeness of Elton John
and Ellen Degenerate, with the lyrics to "I Feel Pretty", underneath their skirts.

Do you think the estates of Rogers and Hammerstein, will seek royalties? I hear that the world's
greatest trial attorney, Tom Girardi will represent the estates. Julia Margulies will represent the "US MINT"

Can anybody tell me why, one of our greatest Presidents, Abraham Lincoln, is only on a penny?
Could it be that when we says, "A Penny For Your Thoughts", this reminds us of President Lincoln's
great thought process? (nothing to do with Processed Cheeze, of course) When they invented
Lincoln Logs, did Abe get a royalty? Surely(not Temple) he should of had a"Wig" or "Tourie" Atty.
to file a claim. Perhaps The Statue Of Liberty, had already lapsed. (Sorry Gloria Allwrong)

I believe the last United States President, to be on a coin, was FDR.
Perhaps corporations should put Ex Presidents on their products. I can see it now.

1.President Clinton on Cold Water Tide- The Stain Remover
2.President Bush on packages of- Dial Soap, think of the possabilities. or on Uncle Ben's Instant Rice.
3.President Reagan on McDonald's Happy Meals. By the way doesn't Ronnie look like "Howdy Doody?"
4.President Carter on a can of peanuts. Enough said!
5.Presresentment Nixon on a Plastic Sturgeons advertisement to Fix "Crooked" noses
6.President Kennedy on a package of Hollywood Hall Of Fame Footprints. Wow, what a variety.

Well Boys And Girls and their combinations, I am still Marshall Bitkower and did juno that both Danny
DeVito and Joe Pesci, were former hair stylists? Their specialty was "Short Cuts" ( Bada Bing)