MONDAY MORNING LAWYER

MICHAEL VICK, GREAT ANOTHER MICHAEL! IT APPEARS ALL 32 NFL TEAMS DO NOT
WANT MICHAEL VICK BACK. THAT'S A REAL "NO BRAINER" SINCE A DOG'S LIFE IS 6 YRS, TO A HUMAN BEING'S 1 YR., WHY IS VICK STILL NOT BEHIND BARS FOR 5X'S WHAT HE HAS SPENT?

MICHAEL VICK SHOULD, AS PART OF HIS PROBATION, BE MADE TO WATCH THE RE RUNS OF "ANIMAL KINGDOM" AND TO READ "NOAH'S ARK" IN ALL LANGUAGES.

NO WONDER THE INTELLIGENT NFL OWNERS DONT WANT HIM BACK. THE MASCOT'S
FOR EACH TEAM ARE ANIMALS & WE ALL KNOW HOW "SLICK-VICK" LOVES ANIMALS.

SOMEONE WITH AN IQ OVER 85, KNOWS A FOOTBALL IS MADE FROM "PIG SKINS"

WOULD VICK ABUSE A FOOTBALL BECAUSE IT CAME FROM AN ANIMAL?
WOULD HE SPIT OUT "GATORAID" BECAUSE IT'S FROM AN ANIMAL?
WOULD HE "BEAT UP" HIS LEATHER JACKET, BECAUSE IT CAME FROM AN ANIMAL?

I TRULY BELIEVE VICK SHOULD HANG AROUND THE ELEPHANT HANDLERS OF THE
BARNUM(OR BAR NONE) & BAILEY CIRCUS.

PERHAPS VICK & THE ELEPHANT HANDLERS, WHO USE "HOOKS" TO CONTROL THE
ELEPHANTS, SHOULD BE IN "THEIR OWN CAGES". THAT WOULD CLEARLY BE "THE
GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH".

PERHAPS THE MOST EQUITABLE THING TO DO WOULD BE FOR MICHAEL VICK IS TO
PUT OUT HIS OWN DOG FOOD, WITH HIMSELF AS THE ONLY INGREDIANT. I'M SURE NO ONE WOULD BUY IT, NO DOG WOULD EAT IT AND IT WOULD END UP IN A 99CENT
STORE, IN THE MANURE SECTION.

PERHAPS THE JUST THING TO DO TO MICHAEL VICK, IS TO ALLOW THE "SWINE FLU"
TO REHABILITATE THIS DOGMATIC CREATURE'

REMEMBER MIKE, WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.

HAVE A PLEASANT WEEK, MARSHALL BITKOWER