"HAIR APARENT", BY FOREST LAWN

I JUST HEARD THAT MICHAEL JACKSON'S BURNT HAIR WILL BE SOLD. I HAVE AN IDEA TO MAKE MILLIONS.
WHY NOT SELL OTHER ITEMS FROM DEAD PEOPLE. I'M SURE WE WILL START TO SEE NEW ENTERPRISES
WHO WILL HAVE A COURSE IN "HOW TO OPEN A GRAVE AND RETRIEVE THE CONTENTS"

I WONDER IF IF THESE COURSES WILL BE OFFERED ON THE INTERNET. WOULD THE WEB SITE BE "COURSES FOR CORPSES . COM?"
WOULD WE HAVE A "WEB MASTER OR WEB MISTRESS?" PERHAPS SARAH PALLIN OR JOAN RIVERS WOULD BE INTERESTED.
THE SPIN COULD BE DO WE WANT SOMEONE WITH ONE FACE OR SOMEONE WITH ALOT OF FACE EXPERIENCE?

I HAVE COMPILED A LIST OF PROPOSED GRAVE SITES AND WHAT WE COULD FIND INSIDE TO SELL.

1. MARILYN MONROE--WE COULD FIND DNA AND GROW MARILYN'S BREASTS. WHAT WOMEN WOULD NOT WANT MARILY'S BOOBS?
2. FRANK SINATRA--WE COULD FIND DNA AND GROW NEW TONSILS TO BE IMPLANTED IN MALE SINGERS. I COULD JUST SEE
"OL BLUE TONSILS", FOR SALE

3. ELVIS PRESLEY--HIS DNA COULD SPROUT NEW HIPS THAT SWAY. THEY COULD BE SOLD AT "'HIP HOP" STORES OR AT
ORTHOPEDIC DOCTORS OR PERHAPS AT "DR. CONRAD MURRAY'S LAS VEGAS CELEBRITY PARTS EMPORIUM"

4. BELA LEGOSI--THE DNA FROM HIS TEETH COULD BE USED FOR DENTURES. YOU KNOW THEY COME OUT AT NIGHT.

5. RICHARD NIXON--HIS DNA WOULD PROVIDE SMILES FOR PEOPLE WHO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AND LIE! THEY COULD
BE SOLD AT ALL POLLING BOOTHS IN AMERICA.


I COULD GO ON AND ON, BUT UNTIL YOU SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PRODUCT I CANNOT GIVE AWAY ANY MORE INFO.


I WISH TO THANK THE ESTATE OF COL. PARKER AND BERNARD MADE-OFF FOR THEIR COUNTLESS HOURS OF HELPING ME.

AS ALWAYS, MAY THE GOOD LORD TAKE A LIKEN TO YOU, SOMEONE HAS TO.

MARSHALL BITKOWER