DID CHEW KNOW THAT "TWITTER" WAS DISCOVERED IN "TWIT-EE-ER, CALIF?". AND THAT MIKE TYSON WAS KNOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A "FOSTER FARM CHICKEN?"

MIKE TYSON, after a stint in a Pronounciation Rehab., has been in the news( should of
been in a "noose") Is that mark or tatoo( not the dwarf from Fantasy Island) on his face
from putting his Big Mouth into a "George Forman Grill?" or from intentionally thrusting
his face into Evander Holly-Field's Steam Iron? By the way, you can buy it online at
"In Your Face".com. It is owned by"You Bit My Ear-Off Partner's, a wholy owned
subsiduary of "You Could Of Been A Contender, Inc. Which is controlled by Pillsbury,
The maker's of the new, Mike Tyson's Dough Boy. Mike's tummy is now bigger than
his "Dangling Partyessimple"

You eat it and become a cymble of how someone with an I.Q. of 17 and the temper of
a sex slave from the Planet "Urainous", could knot grow up and still marry Robin Givens.

Did you know that the "Lompoc Penal Institute", is not a disease that was created by
Guy Lom Bardo? The latest news in the car industry, is that Merlin Olson Motors will
be producing a car that looks like Merlin Olson. You, of course know that the front of
the origional V.W., was in the image of Hitler's Face. The front of The Corvette StingRay
was the image of Lloyd Bridges. If you do not understand, go sea fur yurself.

I am now expanding my column, to include a section where older people's news will be heard.
It will be called "HOT FLASH"S"

"Hot Flash"- fifty percent of Elizabeth Taylors husbands are dead. That's about 1/2 of
Jon & Kate's children. I've been told that TLC has signed Jon up for an interview show
that will be done from his bathrom. The show will be called, "Inside Jon's John" Doesn't
that just piss you off? The Q-cards will be written on toilet paper, the new brand with
Jon's picture on it. I certainly hope it catch's on. Use them free for a month. People have
always wanted to wipe themselves on Jon. ( notice, I did not use the "S"word)

More "Hot Flash's", AARP, will soon be producing movies. Scheduled titles are, ass follows

1." Diving for Prune Juice"
2."Having a new women every night, the story of a man with memory problems.
3."Guess who's Coming at dinner. I'm told there will be at least 100 takes, to com-pleat
the act.
4."The Baritones, the sequal to the Soprano's, after 30 years.( Bada Bing, Bada Bang?)
5."Ex-Lax for Bowlers"

There is a roumor going around that a famous T.V. personality and the President, are
both getting a "hush, hush" divorce. After both divorces are final. they will marry and
her new name will be, "PAT LA LAMA OBOMBA" Just kidding as Kate would say.

My name is Marshall Bitkower and that is my opinion. Did you know that Dean Martin's
favorite song was called, "Soused At The Border?