"TIGERGATE" TAKES THE WORLD BY STORM! MAKES "WATERGATE" SEEM LIKE A DRIBLE ON SANTA MONICA. AS WE SAY IN LAW, THIS IS A REAL "BILL OF LAY-DING"

There is wide-spread ( good choice of words) reaction to Tiger's Wood-s Rampid bid to be the
new men's version of Anna Nicool Smith's legacy( or should I say "Leg's Up C?") and the modern
man's James Mason. Letta me splain this, when Pamela Mason hired Marvin Mitchelson, ass her
Divorce Atty., Marvin supeenned 50 women, who were laid to rest by Mason. When all 50, were
seated in front of the Courtroom, James Mason quickly settled with Pamela.

Now in Wittle Woodsy's matter, who needs these women in a Court Room? They are all over
or under the news Media. Itz kinda like Vanna White, spinning the wheel, to see who is next in line,
to give vivid de-TAILS, of Tiger's Hole In One.


NEWS FLASH! KEL-LOG'S CORN FLAKES, HAS JUST FIRED TONY THE TIGER!

It seems because of Tony's ancestory, Tiger's are no longer welcome to all the corn flakers.
The ACLU, has filed a Billion Dollar Lawsuit, on behalf of Tony against Kellog's, based upon
civil right's violation's, for discrimination based upon Tony's background.


                        ,           OTHER FALL OUT NEWS!

1. The Zebra World Organization has authorized their black stripes, to be dyed Orange, in protest.
2. The Barber's of Seville have changed their outside poles, to include an Orange Stripe. Saville Road,
has also has stated that all custom made shirts, will have a Bengale Tiger Stripe on them

3. The Assoceans of Global Convicts, Inc., has told their supplier of uniforms, General Mills, the most
decorated soldier from the Fire Island Malay, to make all uniforms with Orange Stripes, instead of Black.

4. The BROAD-WAY( there is a pun in there) Musical, written by Steven Sonheim, has been given
the new Title of "Into The Tiger Woods"

5. The International Errol Flynn fanclub, has nominated Tiger Woods, as their Hero of 2009. Their new
slogan for 2010, will be changed from, "In Like Flynn, to "In Like Woods" What a wonderful gesture and
all proceeds they recieve, will go to all the women/strippers/bar floozies/ladies of the evening/hungary vipers
from Trashy Longerie and all needy little money grubbing, life suck-ing vampires and probably every SAG
Member who has attained the age of 27-92 and who's only work has been as models for "Sit & Sleep"
come-ercials.

6. The Dinah Sore Golf  Ladies(?) will be sponsored by Tiger's Milk. I'm pretty sure, most have not tasted it.

7. The reincardation of the old T.V. show, "To Tail The Truth" will knot include Tiger Woods, as a
panel member,.

8. Gatoraid, will no longer be sold in West Holly-Wood. ( read b/t the sheets)

9. Buick, who's slogan was "Put One In Each Home" will drop Tigert. It seems that Tiger has already
started to "Put 1" in every home, butt it ain't a BUICk.

10. Nike, has the BALLS, to keep Tiger ass their spokesman. The Webster family, has decided to
change the pronunciation of the word "LIKE", in their dick-onarry, to now be pronounced "LIKE_EE"

Well as you all know, my name is Marshall Bitkower and I hear that Tiger Woods has started on a long
road trip. Itz more like a Guilt Trip.