LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER'S, FBI,LAPD,HOMELAND SECURITY,WEST HOLLYWOOD SHERRIFS DEPT ( WITH THEIR CUTE WITTLE OUTFITZ, BORDER PATROL,THE LOAN RANGER AND TONTO,JESSE JAMES AND SANDRA BULLOCK,MARSHALL BITKOWER AND HIS DEPUTY MARSHAL'S,SARGENT PRESTON AND YUCON KING, HUGH DOWNS AND THE CIA, WHO ARE LOOKING FOR THE MEANING OF THE"I" AND THE SONS OF THE PIONEERS, BBG'S/AZA'S AND DEPUTY DON KNOTTS, WILL BE OUT LOOKING FOR VARMITS TO CAPTURE!

To my Fellow and Fellowetts Americans, the largest( keep your out of the gutter and clutter) will be
searching for the worst offenders, you know(knot the candy bar, who dated Mickey Cohen)and eye-no
who even Law & Order(1-3) refuses to dramaties( the ones with Betty Davis,Gig Young,Paul Muni,
John Barrymore,Jon Gosslinen, Denise Ungar, Marcel Marsew, Randy Quaid, The Hardy Boys, Ed Hard-ee, Clint Eastwood, Senator Byrd, "Big"Bird, Fanny Brice, Vincent Price, Holiday On Ice and The Five
Stooges, Vat yous don't remember Ira & Bubbie Stooge and my uncle Mike Shapiro, from the Sands
Hotel in Loss Vegass?

Yes these "dramties" are sold at Buffins, Orbach's, Nat Weiss,Gimbles,Mr.Mike of Beverly Hills and the
parking lot of Delores's and Hamilton High School"s Auditorium, where I sang "Mack The Knife" and inside
Mr. Teaford's wooden leg. (not to be confused with John Wooden)


Meanwhile, back at the ranch, these Law Enforcement, men, women and in/betweiners, are on mission
style, to arrest bad people and bad shows on Television and Cable. The list of "alleged" baddies are

1. Jay Leno, who's 10pm show, is duller than Richard Nixon's grand kids.
2. Katy Cureact, who thinks a new hairstyle is NEWS.
3. HBO's" True Blood ", for never discussing False Blood.
4. To Time Warner, for never doing a movie, based upon The Warner Brothers
5. To Oprah Winfrey, for portraying Oprah Winfrey
6. To CBS, for not putting on, CSI-Tel Aviv (bada bang bada bagels)
7. To The CW for redoing Melrose Place and not showing the pilot for "Ventura Blvd" Where do these
    jerks think "Valley Girls" come from.
8. To NBC, for not showing Bob Barker's 115th. Birthday Party.
9. To ABC, for not showing Robert Wagner's Reverse Mortgage Comercials. What "RJ" should be
    pitching is "Reverse Aging". By the way, what ever happened to Stephanie Powers? Remember
    she was "The Girl From Uncle"
10.To FOX News, for not allowing their girl reporters, to wear "Halter Tops
11. To Carol Burnett, for not having her own show again. Like Leo The Lion said, "That's Entertainment"
12. To Marshall Bitkower, who seems to know all about these "Drippy Do-Due Shows.


Once again,(like a new Tiger Woods Mistress wood say, I think  a new one is coming up) it is that time
when I must bid adue to 2009, the year of Heartaches and Avitar. Mr. Cameron, you are a genius,
in spite of the fact that your movie before "Tanked" Now that's "Funny" If you do not get it, get into your
Ford Pinto and drive away.  PS I certainly miss my German Shepard and Best Friend, Emmy Bitkower.