MY BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS

LADIES,GENTLEMEN,BOYS,GIRLS AND THE UNDECIDED. IT IS MY HONOR & PRIVILEGE TO PRESENT
MY FIRST BLOG-MITZFA AWARDS, TO THOSE THAT THINK THEY HAVE SOMETHING OF VALUE. OR THINK
THAT THEY HAVE SOMEHOW ADDED THEIR PRECIOUS 2SENSE (OR NON-SENSE) TO THE DELIGHT OF
THE HUMAN RACE.

1st AWARD WINNER--TO DOMINIC BARBER,ESQ., FOR HIS BELIEF THAT MRS. SCHULER WAS KILLED BECAUSE
EVERYBODY ON THE FREEWAY WAS DRIVING THE WRONG DIRECTION.

2nd AWARD WINNER--TO THE SEPARATED GOSSELIN SPOUSES, FOR SHOWING HOW TWO BLAND AND FLATLINED
PERSONALITIES, WITHOUT GQ OR VANITY FAIR'S HELP, CAN HAVE CHILDREN WHEN THEIR PARENTS DIDN'T.

3rd AWARD WINNER--TO OUR FAVORITE TRAVELOR,HILLARY CLINTON,FOR TAKING OFF THOSE LOVELY EARPLUGS
AND ATTEMPTING, IN HER POWDER BLUE "SHMATTA" THAT SHE GOT ON LINE FROM PEE WEE HERMAN'S HOUSE
OF COUTURE, TO TRY AND GETOFF HER CHAIR. DOES HILLARY HAVE ANY HANDLERS? OR HAVE THEY ALL LEFT TO
JOIN THE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE BECOME MICHAEL JACKSON'S SPERM DONORS?

4th AWARD WINNER--TO JANE-VELLEZ MITCHELL, WHO I HIGHLY RESPECT AND ADMIRE, FOR BEING ON
CNN AND HLN AT THE SAME TIME. AS AN ATTORNEY, I COULD NEVER BE IN TWO COURTROMS AT THE SAME TIME,
BUT SOMEHOW THIS LOVELY AND TALENTED LAWYER, JANE VELLEZ-MITCHELL, HAS SHOWN WHAT A BRILLIANT
ARTIST SHE IS.

WELL THAT'S ABOUT ALL I HAVE TIME TO SAY TODAY. FOR YOU WHO DID NOT "WYNN" THE "BLOG-MITZFA"
AWARD TODAY, KEEP OPENING YOUR MOUTHS, YOU MAY BE NEXT. MARSHALL BITKOWER